In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In the current age, more and more teenagers deciding to sign up for the
apprenticeship
course in place of going to university. It is vital to understand that the job is necessary for everyone and having an
apprenticeship
can provide the job quickly but people need to have a study process to collect enough knowledge, experience and skills. The most advantageous factor of
apprenticeship
is teenagers just need a little time to study and
then
can have work immediately.
On the other hand
, teenagers can take a job without qualifications and it is suitable for people who do not have enough finances to pay for learning or shoulder their family's economic problems. From prior knowledge, most apprentices are provided accommodation and wages in the time they are still in work-based training,
besides
that, the apprentices can keep working in an
apprenticeship
place after their courses or go to the other place depending on themself.
Thus
, having an
apprenticeship
can give society short-term benefits.
However
, nations that do not attend academies can face a massive problem lack of ability to do jobs requiring expertise. academy courses can produce understanding and improve personal skills,
in contrast
, traineeship gives you experience but not any information.
For example
, among people who join educational institutions more than 70% are received from many companies or businesses and have a successful career but the other have a high unemployment rate.
Consequently
, most of the low-literacy levels residents do not have a successful career. In conclusion, work-based training just brings short-term benefits and an academy is the best way to gain a fulfilling career.
Hence
, having a work course is always effective if you have enough expertise and competencies.
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task response
Your essay offers a balanced response to the question and covers both advantages and disadvantages. However, your main points need to be more comprehensively supported with specific examples and elaborations to enhance your argument.
coherence
For better coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph fully develops one central idea. Your introduction could be more clearly articulated to set out the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
cohesion
Transitional phrases can help improve the flow of your essay. Make sure to connect your ideas more seamlessly between and within paragraphs.
task response
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of both sides of the argument, which is a good approach to balancing the discussion.
coherence
Sentence structure and grammar are generally good, which makes your essay easy to read despite the need for further elaboration.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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