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Band 6

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brough up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#children #families #amount #money #adult #life #brough #parents
Children
 who are brought up by wealthy
parents
 are more likely to not be able to deal with their
problems
.
While
,
children
 who came up from
families
 that do not earn that much are better at solving their
problems
. I completely agree, most
children
 from rich
families
 rely on their privilege to deal with the
problems
. Most of the
parents
 from wealthy
families
 are likely to spoil their child. Their
parents
 believe that parenting gives their
children
 more motivated to be independent.
However
, wealthy
parents
 commonly have their own privilege. If their
parents
 over parent them, childrens know they have their own privilege. So,
children
 use the benefit to deal with their
problems
 in adult
life
.
This
 makes them struggle to pass through all
problems
 in future.
Besides
 that,
children
 who are brought up in
families
 that do not have large amounts of money used to solve their
problems
 on their own, without depending on their
parents
.
This
 situation gives
children
 more independence and makes them able to surface all grapples in their
life
.
On the other hand
, many rich
families
 did not give special treatment to their
children
.Teach their
children
 to put more effort to solve their
problems
.Finds the solution by their own way and not expect help from their
families
 that can be impactful for their
problems
.
This
 make their
children
 not illustrates the sandwich generation, which still lean their
life
 and financial from their
parents
.Meanwhile,
children
 who came up from short of money
families
 are more likely to ease their problem because they think if they solve their
problems
 can not change their
life
.
Submitted by hai on

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure the introduction clearly presents your thesis statement, and the conclusion effectively restates your arguments and position. This helps readers understand your stance from the beginning and reminds them of your main points at the end.
supported main points
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logical structure
Ensure your essay has a clear, logical structure with well-defined paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and follow with sentences that are directly related to the main point. Transitions between paragraphs should be smooth to maintain flow.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas fully. Ensure each paragraph offers a clear point that relates to your overall argument, backed up with evidence or examples. Expanding on your ideas will help demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
Use specific, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. These examples can be from your experience, observations, or general knowledge. They should directly support the point you're making and help illustrate your viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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