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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that the computers will be more intelligent than humans. Others are worried about the negative consequences of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #computers #humans #consequences
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It is without a doubt that technology and
computers
 have been advancing, especially with the innovation of artificial intelligence. Every advancement will inevitably have its pros and cons.
Therefore
, it is understandable that half of the people are afraid of
computers
 taking over the
world
, contrary to that, the rest believe that
computers
 harm the
world
.
First,
the thought of
computers
 taking over the
world
. Several examples that support
this
 opinion are the advancement of ChatGPT, in which the AI chatbot can respond to any question given by a human,
also
 a lot of robots are currently being invented,
such
 as operating robots and companion robots. So, realistically speaking, I do believe that
computers
 have the potential to be more intelligent than humans.
However
, it is important to keep in mind that most AI still needs programming and pattern recognition, which are all designed and created by humans alone. Moving on, the negative consequences of
computers
 are already seen in
real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
show examples
. Starting from the soaring numbers of mental health issues, eye problems, and even obesity
due to
 lack of movement - The list is endless. Outside of health problems, the digital
world
 is a scary place, proven by how there are no limits to what content can be seen and received by the user. In conclusion, the advancement of technology and
computers
 is still debatable, which might be beneficial, but could
also
 be harmful.
Nevertheless
, every growth will always have its downfall.
Submitted by tiana29.alisjahbana on

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task achievement
To improve your score, ensure your essay has a clear position throughout the response. Your introduction should more explicitly present your opinion on the matter.
coherence & cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, make sure to use a variety of linking devices effectively between sentences and paragraphs. This will also help in connecting ideas more smoothly.
task achievement and coherence & cohesion
Introduce more relevant, specific examples to support your main points. This addition will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • machine learning
  • superintelligent computers
  • algorithms
  • process data
  • ethical dilemmas
  • job displacement
  • surveillance
  • cyber-attacks
  • privacy and security
  • recognize patterns
  • strategic games
  • dependence
  • individual freedoms
  • proponents
  • outperform
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