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Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
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Taking
risks
 is crucial in everyday life, whether professionally or personally.
People
 will always be involved in deciding to take
risks
. Taking
risks
 will be pretty terrifying as
people
 will
face
 uncertainty in their lives and must be ready for all the consequences. Still, it
also
 has a positive side, as it can lead
people
 to new
opportunities
. In my opinion,
people
 are far better off having taken the
risks
 despite the challenges they will inevitably
face
. The main benefit of taking
risks
 is to open new
opportunities
 in life.
For example
, a student eager to study abroad will experience challenges in many aspects,
such
 as culture, language, and society.
However
, he gets to experience new life-changing
opportunities
 as an exchange student. Despite the culture shock he may experience, he gets many
opportunities
 in his life.
Additionally
, having the courage to take
risks
 will enhance individuals’ soft skills.
For instance
, in a working environment, we will
face
 a problem related to our job, and by taking a chance to overcome it, we could be someone with excellent problem-solving skills.
However
, for some
people
, risk-taking might be pretty dangerous since we will
face
 unpredictable situations. The best example is resigning from the previous toxic job. After resigning,
people
 usually do not know what they will do for a living. In that case, many
people
 do not dare to resign and stay in a toxic environment,
although
 the salary is not even worth it.
To conclude
, I believe that the benefits surpass the drawbacks.
This
 is because of many
opportunities
, and trying something new will help individuals become better. Different from staying in the same place all the time would not make
people
 develop and might be left behind.
Submitted by asyifannisakh on

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coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay demonstrates a clear logical structure but could further improve by enhancing transitions and signposting throughout the text to guide readers smoothly from one idea to the next. Additionally, strive for greater variety in your cohesive devices.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure you fully answer all parts of the prompt. Your essay presented a balanced view but could benefit from deeper analysis and further expansion on the main points. Aim for a more detailed exploration of the advantages and disadvantages of risk-taking to strengthen this aspect of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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