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Band 6

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#plans #show #park #first #information #features #comparisons
The layouts below depict a transformation of a public
park
 at the present time in comparison to its initial release in 1920.
Overall
, there are some radical changes in the features of Grange
Park
, especially the construction of an amphitheatre for concerts, a café, and a children’s play area.
To begin
 with, in 1920, the
park
 encompassed various features where it had two entrances in both top and bottom areas, one on Arnold Avenue and another on Eldon Street. An identical fountain was located in the middle of the
park
,
while
 a stage for musicians is housed on the left side, with two rose gardens
coupled with
seats
 on both the bottom-left and the top-left of the section. Ponds for water plants were situated in the top-right corner adjacent to a rose
garden
, and on the bottom-right side was a glasshouse and some
seats
 next to it. Today, the layouts of the
park
 have changed. There has been a construction of
amphitheatre
Correct article usage
an amphitheatre
show examples
 zone where the stage for musicians used to be and the rose
garden
coupled with
seats
 in the bottom left corner has been demolished.
Moreover
, the fountain has been replaced by a squared
garden
 for roses with
seats
 surrounding it. A café has been built, replacing the rose
garden
 on the top-right side
as well as
 ponds for water plants have been replaced by a children’s
play-ground
Correct your spelling
playground
show examples
.
Additionally
, a water feature has replaced the former location of the glasshouse
coupled with
 its
seats
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly sets the context for your essay. A more detailed conclusion summarizing the changes and their impacts could strengthen your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve clarity, use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This will help the reader follow your arguments easily.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with specific examples wherever possible. This adds depth to your analysis and makes your essay more informative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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