IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many supermarkets sell more and more imported food products than ones produced in their home country. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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These days, the main trend among some supermarkets is that they prefer to fill their market with international food products
instead
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 of local ones.
while
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this
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 fashion has some drawbacks. I still believe that it cannot overshadow the benefits. On the one hand, the demerits of selling foreign goods are so varied. when people prefer to eat fruits and food from other countries, they do not use their local products. In fact,
this
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 method has an adverse impact on the local farmers' and producers' economies and market shares.
for example
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, in Iran, the population likes to spend their money on buying chocolate from other countries' brands like KitKat, Nestle and so forth rather than Iranian ones like Parmida, Farkhonde and so on .
On the other hand
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, international supermarkets have a range of merits.
Firstly
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,
this
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 development helps globalization inasmuch as when people have access to several international foods, a dimension of culture, they do not need to spend too much money to travel to other areas and taste their traditional meals.
In other words
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, they can find dishes and snakes from various countries in their hometown.
For instance
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, In China, the population have access to the Turkey supermarkets.
Secondly
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,
this
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 development provides a lot of job opportunities for global inhabitants .
Consequently
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, they can work in the areas of exporting these goods, obtaining them, farming them and so on.
To sum up
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, changing the situation of local agriculture and producers cannot prevent the good points of
this
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 trend of globalization and creating job vacancies.
As a result
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, the pros cannot eclipse the cons.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more detailed thesis statement that clearly outlines the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to the main argument and outlines what will be discussed in that section.
coherence and cohesion
Revise grammar and punctuation to enhance readability and professionalism throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion that recognizes both sides of the argument, which is essential in IELTS writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • imported food products
  • local produce
  • broad variety
  • catering to diverse tastes
  • economic benefits
  • international trade relations
  • quality and safety standards
  • logistics
  • distribution
  • local farmers
  • domestic agriculture
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • cultural homogenization
  • traditional cuisines
  • consumer choices
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