Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays
entertainers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

get paid more than
politicians
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. what are the reasons for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

? is
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a negative or positive development?* It is often said that people in the entertainment industry mint money. In fact, in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

day and age, they are getting paid more than a statesman.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there are multiple reasons for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trend, which will be discussed in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay, I believe that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is a negative development because
politicians
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have a more important role and responsibilities in our society than
entertainers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, celebrities and artists make a substantial amount of money simply because they are
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
salesperson
Fix the agreement mistake
salespersons

It seems that salesperson may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. Their work generates more sales and
higher
Correct article usage
the higher

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
the earnings and profit they make,
higher
Correct article usage
the higher

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
will be
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
the amount paid to them by producers and investors. To illustrate, 15
minutes
Correct your spelling
15-minute

If you don’t want minutes to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

performance
of
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Shakira, a renowned vocalist, at the Super Bowl halftime show, alone generated
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
revenue of 480 million dollars, from which she received a hefty amount for that single show. Another reason,
in addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, is that celebrities do not become rich and famous overnight. They struggle throughout their career to develop their skills and earn their name worldwide in the entertainment world.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they think it is rightful to demand extravagant
sum
Fix the agreement mistake
sums

It seems that sum may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
for
the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

show examples
exceptional talents and hard-earned
name
Fix the agreement mistake
names

It seems that name may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, performers and celebrities getting paid more than a Statesman, in my opinion, is a negative trend because
politicians
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are the elected leaders who determine the course of our lives and shape our society. They have a tough job and high responsibility of conducting the state affairs and planning and implementing state policies that are beneficial for us
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as education and health reforms and social welfare.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if they are paid less than some mere
entertainers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, it will be demeaning and demotivating for them and their profession.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

entertainers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

strive to earn
name
Correct article usage
a name

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
and generate handsome revenue
by
Change preposition
through

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their act, I am of the opinion that it is a negative development to pay them more than
politicians
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, as it is demotivating for them to put more effort
in
Change preposition
into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
public welfare.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, try to present your ideas more specifically and offer a broader range of examples to underpin your arguments. Also, make a balanced discussion on both aspects of the development being positive and negative, when the question prompts for evaluation.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, enhance the logical flow of ideas by using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. Attempt to link your ideas more explicitly to create a stronger argumentative thread throughout your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • endorsements
  • revenue streams
  • global presence
  • diversified branding
  • income sources
  • free-market principles
  • market value
  • government budgets
  • public funds
  • public perception
  • value generation
  • bureaucratic
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: