1.Some people believe that spending money on developing technology on space exploration is unjustifiable( and there are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over how to allocate national coffers effectively.
While
some hold a statement that technological investment in exploring outer space should be made, the opposite claims that spending on other aspects can bring more tremendous benefits. The former is valid to some extent, meanwhile, I am an advocate of the latter.
Without a shadow of a doubt, splurging the budget on cosmetic exploration can be conducive to human lives in the distant future. In Linking Words
this
day and age, the natural surroundings have been alarmingly exacerbated by reckless actions and greedy needs of humans, which leads to the fact that it is possible for the Earth to become uninhabitable someday. By greatly developing cutting-edge pieces of equipment to dig deeper into the unknown universe, people can pave the way for finding other alternative livable planets which can potentially replace the Earth if extinct. Linking Words
For example
, the Moon or Mars can be cited as a gateway for humans to understand the whole universe. If there is any source of water and oxygen in those places, they can be people’s future shelters. Linking Words
Hence
, cashing in high-tech gizmos to have a firmer grasp of Linking Words
cosmet
can be immensely advantageous for many years to come.
Correct your spelling
cosmetic
While
the merit of money well-spent on space-discovering technologies is widely acknowledged, other more essential aspects should be focused more, especially education and the healthcare system. Because some certain countries which are quite underdeveloped and impoverished are not suitable for squandering too much money on space exploration, which makes little difference to their current serious situation, those two backbone industries can bring more positive impacts on the productivity of the Linking Words
labor
workforce. Change the spelling
labour
For example
, by allocating the national budget to improve facilities in schools or hospitals and offering incentives to reduce the financial burden for students and patients, the government can ensure a better-educated and healthier source of manpower devoting their lives to the nation, which directly boosts the country’s economic strength. Linking Words
Thus
, schooling and medicare care are two specific fields that a country should concentrate on investing in.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that cashing in advanced technology to explore space is Linking Words
favorable
in the far future for human existence, for some countries, cashing in other essential facets like education and the healthcare system can do wonders more.Change the spelling
favourable
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay has a clear position throughout the response. While it's evident that you lean towards one view, reinforcing your stance in the conclusion could make your argument even more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Try to incorporate a wider variety of linking devices to enhance the flow of your essay. You've used connectors effectively, but adding phrases that indicate contrast or consequence (e.g., 'however', 'thus', 'therefore') in more places can improve coherence.
task achievement
Develop your examples further to strengthen your argument. Your current examples are good, but elaborating on them with more details or statistics could make your points even more convincing.
general
Revise your essay for minor grammatical errors and occasional awkward phrasing to increase its readability and professionalism.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite