Some people believe that it is the resposibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Health is one of the most fundamental rights of human beings. Some people argue that consuming a healthy menu is a personal authority,

while

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others believe that the authority should lend a hand to monitor it.

This

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essay will discuss both statements and why I side with the latter. On one hand, each individual's body is different from others,

hence

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why everyone should have the awareness to sustain healthy diets so that they will be more protected from illnesses.

For example

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, a menu for a middle-aged man who mostly does physical labour is relatively different from a high school girl's as their nutritional needs are different from each other.

Thus

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, what is healthy for one does not mean it is healthy for the other and it is an individual responsibility to take care of it.

Nonetheless

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, the government

also

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bears a duty to make certain that its citizens get an equal diet fulfilment as not everybody has access to expensive nutritious groceries.

For instance

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, the government of Indonesia made a program where lower-middle-income citizens are able to get free essential groceries, namely palm oil, flour, rice, noodles, eggs, and milk, which helps them access a healthy menu.

Consequently

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, the authorities' interference is much needed to ensure the citizens' well-being by helping those in need to access nutrition intake. To summarise, the nutritional needs of society are vastly diverse,

hence

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why they have to take care of themselves, yet help from the government is

also

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very needed to ensure that goal is achieved.

Furthermore

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, if the authority does not interfere and provide affordable nutritious ingredients for

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society, they will hardly obtain a collective prime health condition.

pink pantherWed Jan 17 2024

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task achievement

Make sure you fully address all parts of the task. While both views were discussed, the opinion was not clearly stated at the beginning. Be explicit about your stance early in the essay to better guide the reader.

task achievement

While some key points were made, more could have been done to clarify and develop these ideas. Include more detailed reasoning to justify your opinion and present more specific examples that support your arguments.

task achievement

The use of examples is good, but make sure they are directly relevant to your argument. Some examples lacked depth and detail that would have made your argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

You have demonstrated the ability to sequence information and ideas logically. Continue to refine your connectives and transitions for a smoother flow. Moreover, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence to guide reader's understanding.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay is relatively clear, with both an introduction and a conclusion. To improve, ensure that your conclusion not only summarizes the essay but also reflects upon and restates your opinion more emphatically.

coherence cohesion

You provided support for your main points, but at times the support was general rather than specific. Develop each main point with more in-depth analysis and varied sentence structures for a richer and more articulate essay.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

self-discipline
public health campaigns
informed choices
subsidies
healthcare costs
personal freedom
socioeconomic factors
nutrition
preventive measures
obesity epidemic
food labeling regulations
healthy lifestyle
collective responsibility
dietary guidelines

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Some people believe that it is the resposibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. what are Causes and Solutions for this problem?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.

Some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as the older houses in the local area. Others disagree and say local authorities should allow people to build houses in the style of their own choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? (plural, plural)