Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subjects. Other people think that it is a waste of valuable school ti. me. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
To
servive
in Correct your spelling
survive
service
this
internationally linked world, many people have the opinion that students
should learn about the major events which have been happening in the world by introducing a new subject into the official academic curriculum. However
, others insist that young students
are already fully occupied with existing subjects such
as math, science, and additional languages which I also
agree with.
Some individuals would acknowledge that students
should learn the international major
events and issues to build up their capabilities to accept which is based on worldwide knowledge. Introducing the new subject as the office procedure to teach Correct word choice
apply
students
international news
can support them in increasing their comprehension of the effects of other countries' issues. As students
might not be able to select the appropriate information from the internet by themselves, it would be greatly helpful for them to be prepared as competent international human resources by having a qualified guide from their teachers.
Despite this
argument, the opposite side of people support
that having additional subjects like learning international Change the verb form
supports
news
would bring more burden on young people as they are already full of other academic works such
as science, additional languages, and mathematics. As this
is the fact thatstudents
have been experiencing excessive academic stress with the current curriculum, adding more study will result in unhealthy psychological conditions for Correct your spelling
that students
students
. On the other hand
, it would be challenging for teachers to choose the news
which will be just based on teachers' own perspectives regarding politics, religion, and other personal beliefs. Students
can be affected by the teacher's opinion prior to developing their own viewpoints.
In conclusion, although
students
can be equipped with instant international knowledge by learning worldwide news
, it cannot be ignored that students
might have greater stress with having extracurricular activities on top of what they are already allocated to study. Furthermore
, there would be a risk of installing the teacher's personal viewpoints into the students
before they establish their own views to see the issues which I am completely convinced with.Submitted by yeseulyou92 on
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Introduction
Ensure that your essay begins with a clear introduction that outlines the topic and previews the main points you will discuss. While this has been done satisfactorily, refining your thesis statement to more clearly present your stance can enhance clarity.
Body Paragraphs
In the body paragraphs, make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Use topic sentences effectively to introduce each point, followed by supporting details and examples. While you have structured your essay well, incorporating more specific examples to support your arguments could further strengthen your essay.
Conclusion
Conclude your essay with a succinct conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion in light of the discussion. Your conclusion does this effectively, but be careful not to introduce new information that wasn’t discussed in the body of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve coherence by using a variety of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas within and between paragraphs. You’ve used some linking devices, but increasing their variety and accuracy can make your essay flow more smoothly.
Task Achievement
To better achieve the task, ensure that your essay thoroughly addresses all parts of the prompt. While you have discussed both views and your opinion, incorporating more detailed examples related to international news and its impact could provide a more robust response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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