The diagram below shows how paper is made and recycled.

The diagram below shows how paper is made and recycled.
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The given diagram illustrates the process of creating and recycling
paper
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. It can be seen that the process consists of eleven stages in total. First of all, people need to cut down trees and
then
Linking Words
put wood pieces into a de-barking drum.
After
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this
Linking Words
stage, it should be thermomechanically refined.
Next,
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it goes to a
paper
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-making machine with some water added. And
finally
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, we have
Use synonyms
paper
Add an article
a paper
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which can be used for newsprint,
for example
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. After old newsprints are collected, a new life for
paper
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begins.
Firstly
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, it should be de-inked,
then
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cleaned and fine screened. The resulting mass goes through thermomechanical and recycled pulp mix.
This
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stage is followed by the only stage which is the same for both:
firstly
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created
paper
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and recycled
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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— adding water and putting the mass into a
paper
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-making machine. The process of
paper
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recycling can be repeated an unlimited amount of times which is great as it helps humanity to give new life to old
paper
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instead
Linking Words
of deforestation.
Submitted by nzgvrv on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "firstly".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words paper with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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