The diagram below shows how paper is made and recycled.

The diagram below shows how paper is made and recycled.
The given diagram illustrates the process of creating and recycling
paper
. It can be seen that the process consists of eleven stages in total. First of all, people need to cut down trees and
then
put wood pieces into a de-barking drum.
After
this
stage, it should be thermomechanically refined.
Next,
it goes to a
paper
-making machine with some water added. And
finally
, we have
paper
Add an article
a paper
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which can be used for newsprint,
for example
. After old newsprints are collected, a new life for
paper
begins.
Firstly
, it should be de-inked,
then
cleaned and fine screened. The resulting mass goes through thermomechanical and recycled pulp mix.
This
stage is followed by the only stage which is the same for both:
firstly
created
paper
and recycled
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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— adding water and putting the mass into a
paper
-making machine. The process of
paper
recycling can be repeated an unlimited amount of times which is great as it helps humanity to give new life to old
paper
instead
of deforestation.
Submitted by nzgvrv on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "firstly".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words paper with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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