We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

In the modern world,
computers
have a variety of effects on society, within beneficial and negative sides, we don’t know what the future holds;
however
, it’s impossible to imagine our
lives
without
computers
or other electronic devices. I reckon that all individuals should possess at least one computer or another electronic device in their daily
lives
.
To begin
with,
computers
are used in numerous distinctive ways,
such
as; business, crime detection, and even flying planes.
Besides
,
computers
make our
lives
less challenging;
for instance
; we can easily access information concerning any product we plan to purchase or places we plan to explore.
Additionally
,
according to
an article I read, some experts assume that it will be possible to smell a new perfume by using the internet soon. Another significant example is that all students in the world attended their classes via their
computers
.
Therefore
, they were utterly able to complete their tasks and duties. Not only students but
also
businesspeople achieved their objectives
as well as
worked so efficiently that our economy continued to flourish.
On the other hand
, there are some cons about
computers
in the future. Apparently, people spend much more time on monitors than ever before.
Moreover
, some family members text or make phone calls to each other even if they live in the same house.
That is
why, communication among people is decreasing day by day.
Due to
this
, AI could impact our
lives
as an addiction in a detrimental way.
In other words
, some psychologists emphasize that
computers
effortlessly make us conveniently depend on them.
According to
research conducted by Ankara University, 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of Turkish youngsters are addicted to computer-based technology so much that they even avoid having conversations with their friends. By considering these situations, we should not rely so much on computer-based machinery. In conclusion, though
computers
have been in our
lives
for decades, they provide us with both benefits and adverse influences.
Submitted by haticecoza on

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task achievement
Be sure to directly address all parts of the task. While your essay touches on the importance and effects of computers, directly answering the question about the future changes and whether the dependency is good would strengthen your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow and cohesion of your essay. While your essay is generally well-organized, greater variety in transitions could enhance readability.
task achievement
Develop your arguments with a mix of general statements and specific examples. You've used some specific examples effectively, but providing even more variety and detail could enhance your points.
task achievement
Consider the implications of your arguments more deeply. Exploring the potential future changes in computer technology and its implications on society could provide a richer analysis.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Machine Learning
  • Automated
  • Internet of Things (IoT)
  • Telecommuting
  • Digital Technology
  • Virtual Workplaces
  • Computer-assisted
  • Healthcare Industry
  • Reliance
  • Privacy
  • Human Interaction
  • Job Displacement
  • Automation
  • Digital Divide
  • Cybersecurity
  • Internet Safety
  • Digital Crime
  • Ethical Considerations
  • Environmental Impacts
  • E-waste
  • Carbon Footprint
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