Taking up some kind of sport is the best way for people to improve their social and psychological well-being. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

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It is generally claimed that doing some excises can have positive effects on social and mental
health
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. I personally agree with
this
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idea,
furthermore
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, I
also
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think there are other ways to enhance quality of life. There are a number of strong arguments to support the idea that taking up some
sports
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can improve our lives. Not only is doing excises can good for our physical
health
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, but
also
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it is good for our mental
health
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.
For instance
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, when
people
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take up some
sports
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,
people
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become sincere and open their minds to others. They can make different friends and talk with them. Maybe some problems can be solved easily.
In addition
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, learning
sports
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can improve our economy. Not only do many
people
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want to lose weight, but
also
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they want to become professional in fitness.
Therefore
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, we can build some gyms and hire some coaches in neighbourhoods.
This
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approach provides many employment opportunities and
also
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stimulates consumption.
As a result
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, taking up some
sports
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has lots of benefits for our lives.
Furthermore
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, there is not only one way to improve
people
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's social and psychological well-being.
For example
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, we can create mental centres and open some mental
health
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lectures or social skills study hubs in universities. Not only do they have a sense of achievement, but
also
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they obtain mental support from others during the process. Especially, results are good for everyone.
Consequently
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, there are other ways we can do to improve
people
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’s social and mental
health
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, not just exercise. In conclusion, doing some
sports
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can build relationships easily
in addition
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to helping
people
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open their hearts.
Moreover
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, joining a group which have a common goal
also
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can change our lives.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Task Achievement
Be sure to directly answer the question in your introduction to make your stance clear.
Task Achievement
Expand on examples with more specificity and detail to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of transition words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed and supported throughout the paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • camaraderie
  • collaboratively
  • self-esteem
  • sense of accomplishment
  • stress reliever
  • positive outlook
  • artistic or creative hobbies
  • mindfulness practices
  • competitive sports environment
  • improved mood
  • reduced anxiety
  • balanced diet
  • psychological resilience
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