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Writing Samples
Band 7

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

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It is a fact of life that
people
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 do not like
change
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. The main problems
this
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 causes are missed opportunities and stagnation. The most viable solutions are using self-help resources to develop a more optimistic attitude and taking practical steps to reduce
risks
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.
People
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 who resist
change
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 often miss out on opportunities. When someone stays in a
job
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 or relationship they are unhappy with because they fear
change
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, they deny themselves the chance to find a situation which will better fit their dreams and goals.
Additionally
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, many
people
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 end up stagnating. They tolerate their lives, even though they are not really happy, and find themselves in a rut because they are afraid of the
risks
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 that
change
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 brings.
For instance
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, countless
people
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 who continue to work in unsatisfying jobs do so because they fear the uncertainties that accompany finding a new
job
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. One way for
people
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 to overcome
this
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 difficulty is by reading self-help literature to develop a positive mindset. These books usually contain practical tips and success stories, both of which encourage
people
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 to see that
change
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 can be extremely positive. Another solution is for
people
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 to identify practical steps they can take to reduce the
risks
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 associated with
change
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. If
people
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 educate themselves about what to expect in new situations, they will be better prepared and there will be less risk of failure.
For example
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, many
people
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 have been able to face their fears and apply for a new
job
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 by researching what their prospective employer requires and how to succeed in
job
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 interviews. In conclusion, when
people
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 avoid
change
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, it can result in wasted opportunities and being stuck in a rut. Reading self-help books to become more optimistic and taking practical measures to reduce
risks
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 are two possible solutions.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the question with relevant and specific examples. However, you could further develop your main points to provide more depth and insight.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and engagement. Introducing a wider range of cohesive devices can help connect your ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
You have provided concrete examples that effectively support your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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