Write about the following topic: Many people choose natural healing methods, such as acupuncture and massage therapy to recover from illness. Others prefer to use pharmaceutical drugs prescribed by their doctor for their alignments. Discuss both views and give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, We can see that many people are very conscious about their health through natural activities, here I will explain my views and experience pertaining to Natural therapies.
To begin
with, there are many therapies we can see in our societies some of them based on Natural and few are related to
Medicines
but
on the other hand
, I strongly believe in natural methods
such
as ayurvedic
treatment
, Acupuncture and massage by experienced professionals, they know very well that without any harmful medicine, most of the illness can be cured with proper care.
Secondly
, Few people think that
Medicines
are their good friends and every health issue should be cured by pharma drugs but
along with
this
, those
medicines
also
have some side effects
while
treating.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
it all depends on the seriousness of the illness and the patient's condition.
In addition
, Natural healing
also
takes a long time to cure but those are less harmful than generic
medicines
and do not need to be administered orally or parantally
hence
many people enjoy
this
kind of
treatment
to cure themselves. Based on my personal experience, I saw the difference in my family members
last
year
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
my parents had back pain and they were looking at the best
treatment
so, my father went for ayurvedic and natural therapy
while
my mother went to an Allopathic doctor but after a certain time my father was feeling better and my mother had minor side effects.
To conclude
, Natural
treatment
is much better for a longer time and has fewer side effects.
Submitted by preetiaug25 on

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Task Response
To enhance your Response to the Task, ensure that you explore and discuss both views presented in the topic equally. Your essay predominantly focuses on natural healing methods, which results in an unbalanced discussion. Incorporating an equal exploration of pharmaceutical drugs and how some individuals prefer this approach could improve your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, it's essential to organize your essay more effectively. Though you have a logical approach, improving transitions between paragraphs and clearer topic sentences could enhance readability. Additionally, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to tie your ideas together more smoothly.
Supporting Points
Regarding your specific examples and supporting points, while you've included personal experiences, adding more diverse and detail-rich examples to support both views could strengthen your argument. Providing more scientific or statistical evidence could also enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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