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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some believe that student's success is mainly based on the quality of their teaching while others think it has more to do with the student's attitude. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #student #success #quality #attitude
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It has been estimated that 20% of modern life
students
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 succeed based on their attitude. Some people believe that
student
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's
success
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 is mainly based on the quality of their teaching
while
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 others think it has more to do with the
student
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's attitudes. Personally, I agree with the second view that most
student
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 especially nowadays are more successful than others how obtaining high-quality teaching. In
this
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 essay I will discuss both views and I will shed light on the most essential reasons to support my perspective. The primary reason behind the
success
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 of
students
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 based on their attitude is their lifestyle. Without doubt our lifestyle will affect the way we grow.
For example
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,
students
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 who live in healthy and settled environment have more chances of being successful in the future their parents usually will give as much as they can to let their children in learning even in their free time, which is very important to learn life skills.
As a result
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, our life becomes harder and harder and we should be prepared for the future by focusing on every single minute not only in school. The second reason why I believe a
student
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's attitude is more important to
success
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 than the quality of teaching is the family's financial level. To illustrate, when we say to be successful you should take high-quality teaching that means the
students
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 at low levels financially cannot be successful in their lives.
Consequently
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, to be successful is something not related to your financial level we can seek the chance to learn everywhere and anywhere.
On the other hand
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, there are those who say that
student
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's
success
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 is mainly based on the quality of their teaching, which is unfair to the other
students
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. successful is one of the basic
students
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' rights. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 the lifestyle of nowadays
student
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 and their families' financial levels strongly support my view that all
students
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 around the world can be successful even when they do not take a high-quality teaching.
Submitted by shoda1590 on

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task achievement
Introduction requires clarification on the stance you're taking and a brief overview of what will be discussed. A clearer thesis statement would improve understanding and set expectations.
task achievement
Develop main points with more specific examples and evidence. Currently, the essay lacks detailed illustrations that could strengthen the argument and clarify your stance.
coherence cohesion
Focus on creating clear topic sentences for each paragraph, which should be directly related to the question prompt. This will assure readers of the relevance and bolster the cohesiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the conclusion by summarizing the discussed points more effectively and restating your opinion more strongly. Ensure the essay closes with a definitive stance, reflecting upon the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Improve essay structure by organizing ideas more logically and sequentially. Introduce ideas, expand on them with examples or evidence, then summarize before moving to the next idea. This approach will improve logical flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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