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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the percentage of population in cities since 1970s with projection to 2030

the graph below shows the percentage of population in cities since 1970s with projection to 2030
the line graph depicts information about the ratio of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 which were registered in four different
cities
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 over a seven-year
period
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 between 1970 and 2030 after the analysis, it is clearly stated that in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
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1970 ,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 remained top in position having populated
cities
Use synonyms
 approximately
to
Change preposition
apply
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70 %
Linking Words
Change preposition
of then
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then
Correct your spelling
the
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 the number rose drastically over
decades
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 for three
decades
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 and remained unchanged throughout the
period
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 reaching above 90%
similarly
Linking Words
, korea showed the same pattern. 40%
population
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 were registered at the
Correct your spelling
beginning
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the year
then
Linking Words
 the figure
sky rocketed
Correct your spelling
skyrocketed
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 over
decades
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 hitting 90 % of
projection
Correct article usage
the projection
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 in 2030
furthermore
Linking Words
, from 1970 to 1980, for
china
Capitalize word
China
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 and
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India
show examples
Change the capitalization
India
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india
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india,
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 the number of adding
population
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 remained stable
approximately
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at approximately
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 20% after that,
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population
Add an article
the population
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 of
Change the capitalization
India
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india
Change the capitalization
India
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 rose gradually over
a
Correct article usage
apply
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two
decades
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 after which the figure remained unchanged throughout the
period
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 but for
china
Capitalize word
China
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, the ratio hit its peak in 2010 touching 60% after that it remained unchanged over the
last
Linking Words
 two
decades
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 it is vividly manifested that all four of
different
Correct article usage
the different
show examples
cities
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 showed fluctuations
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
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, the most populous
cities
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 were
usa
Correct your spelling
USA
 and
Change the capitalization
Korea
show examples
korea
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Korea
show examples
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 remained lower throughout the
period
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, cities, period, decades with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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