Pie chart bellow give information about the house hold expenditures of an average vs family in different years. summarizes the information by selecting and reporting the main features

#bellow #information #house #expenditures #years #features

The pie charts below

illustrates

Change the verb form

illustrate

show examples

give six

Correct quantifier usage

pieces of informations

show examples

informations

Correct your spelling

information

about the

house hold

Correct your spelling

household

show examples

in 1970 and 2004.

Overall

it is clear that

mortgage

Fix the agreement mistake

mortgages

show examples

had the highest rate in two different years.

According to

the graph, in 1970

mortgage

Fix the agreement mistake

mortgages

show examples

stood in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first

place

(26%).

In addition

, food with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

slightly

Change the adverb

slight

show examples

difference from

mortgage

stood in the second

place

(25%) and clothing with the 3 difference from food stood in the third

place

while

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

in 2004 50% of that chart

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

belongged

Correct your spelling

belonged

to the

mortgage

Moreover

, clothing and childcare had the same per

cent

(10%).

Also

, transport had the lowest per

cent

about 5%.

In addition

, entertainment with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

food stood in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second

place

in 2004

whereas

, in 1970 childcare had the lowest rate exactly 1%.

Also

, transport and entertainment had the same

per

Correct your spelling

percentage

show examples

cent

(13%).

As a result

, it is obvious that

mortgage

Fix the agreement mistake

mortgages

show examples

had the highest per

cent

in 1970 and 2004.

Also

, in 1970 childcare had the lowest rate

while

in 2004 transport stood in the

last

place

Submitted by bazarjanimohammadreza83 on Wed Feb 28 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, in addition, while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words mortgage, place, cent with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 5 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

171 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Pie chart bellow give information about the house hold expenditures of an average vs family in different years. summarizes the information by selecting and reporting the main features

Indvidual greed and selfishnesss have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more treaditional values of respect for the family and local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You recently used a taxi and left some important documents there. Write a letter to the taxi manager and say: – Describe what you left and where it happened. – Why are these papers important? – What would you like the manager to do about it?

Nowadays more and more children acquire unhealthy eating habits. Why is this happening? What would be the solution?

The world today is a safer place and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is better to save money than to spend it. How far do you agree with this statement? Is saving more important than spending in today’s world