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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

advnces technology and automation have reduce the need for manual lapour therefore working hours should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advnces #technology #automation #lapour #hours
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Modern machinery and automatic processes have decreased the manual working opportunities for people.
Therefore
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 I would suggest manual
labour
Use synonyms
 should be reduced which makes life easy for the people but has a huge disadvantage when it comes to the community who faces tough challenges every day trying to endeavor opportunity and freedom to earn for their families. Nowadays when looking from the company's point of view it seems better and easy for them to make their effort efficient.
For instance
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, there are companies which use robotic machinery which is automated to perform
accordingly
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 for their day-to-day production, but
this
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 automation has two sides to it because if the robots do not perform well enough, a lot of money and time has to be applied to them to trial efficiently.
According to
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 the comparison of machinery and manual
labour
Use synonyms
, working opportunities seem to be more on the technologically based production and for man working hours, it may depend because in an organization not every person works at the same job rate as robots who struggle at a consistent level which is produced by the system.
Therefore
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 I think that automation plays a crucial role but if you tick the right boxes manual
labour
Use synonyms
 can
also
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 play it right thinking as to where and why you are using them in a company. So 'money and time' are the only two factors affecting
this
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 modern computer-based production and manual industry. In conclusion, I agree with the condition 'yes' modern automation plays a crucial part in working opportunities but manual
labour
Use synonyms
 can
also
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 be applied to the same, but without decreasing working freedom in both departments the organization can efficiently achieve the ultimate goal or even exceed it to many more challenges.
Submitted by khalid.al-rashidi3 on

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structure
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your overall stance on the issue. Then, structure your essay into clear paragraphs with distinct ideas—begin with an introductory sentence for each paragraph.
cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more smoothly. Examples include conjunctions, pronouns, and transition words like 'furthermore,' 'however,' and 'in contrast.'
task response
When responding to the task, make sure that every paragraph directly contributes to answering the question. There might be opportunities to more explicitly connect your examples and arguments back to the main question.
language
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures and lexical resources to demonstrate linguistic flexibility and precision.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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