IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

There are currently many endangered species at risk of extinction and it’s equally important to save all of them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, there are those who hold the view that we should protect a large number of
animals
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 and
plants
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, which are facing a critical risk of
extinction
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, in an equal manner.
While
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 all
species
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 might impact the sustainable
ecology
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 and the
environment
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, I strongly believe that we should prioritise some crucial
species
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, as we should overcome other serious environmental problems worldwide.
To begin
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, protecting
animals
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 and
plants
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, which are facing the risk of
extinction
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, is significantly an important attitude towards protecting our
environment
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.
For example
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, it has been a long time since eating whales has been restricted in Japan, to reduce negative impacts on our ecological lifecycles.
This
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 countermeasure for saving
animals
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' lives would be significantly meaningful, as whales play
a
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an
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 immensely important role in the ocean
ecology
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, controlling the number of small creatures by eating them in an environmentally adequate way.
However
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,
while
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 all lives of
animals
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 and
plants
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 impact our
environment
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 ecologically, we should prioritise particular
species
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, which are fundamental for the
ecology
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. As we
also
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 need to tackle countless other serious environmental issues,
such
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 as deforestation, climate change and ocean pollution, it is not realistic to handle all the
risks
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 of
extinction
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 which are concerned about a large number of
species
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.
Therefore
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, prioritising these
risks
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 of
extinction
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 is the key to not only protecting critical
species
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 but
also
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 leading to the improvement in a variety of environmental problems. In summary,
while
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 there are
risks
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 for the
extinction
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 of
animals
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 and
plants
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 worldwide, I wholeheartedly believe that we should handle these
risks
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 in a thorough manner, by considering the level of negative impacts on
ecology
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 and balancing other critical environmental issues to lead ourselves to a more sustainable
environment
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 and eco-friendlier lifestyles.

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coherence cohesion
Continue developing your arguments with specific examples and clear, directed explanations to enhance comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs are well developed and logically connected to your main thesis, using a range of cohesive devices effectively.
task achievement
Work on expanding and elaborating on your ideas and arguments with more precise examples and detailed explanations to further strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your stance and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • extinction
  • ecosystem
  • biodiversity
  • pollinators
  • ecological impact
  • ripple effects
  • interdependent
  • resource allocation
  • critically endangered
  • recovery
  • intervention
  • habitat destruction
  • broader environmental issues
  • habitats and ecosystems
  • natural heritage
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