By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilt of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? You should write at least 250 words. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#murderers #death #penalty #society #guilt #murder #life #prison #punishment

"Do as I say, not as I do."

This

is what

society

tells us when it punishes

murderers

withthe

Correct your spelling

with the

death

penalty

Society

tells us that murder is wrong, and in our legal system,

murderis

Correct your spelling

murder is

murderous

murders

against the law. Yet we still see our

society

kill

murderers

, and

thus

we are committing murder ourselves.

For

this

reason, the

death

penalty

should end, and

instead

Add a comma

instead,

show examples

murderers

should be punished with life in prison.

Society

needs to show a positive model of how our lives should be and how

peopleshould

Correct your spelling

people should

act. We should always strive to improve our situation, to be at peace and

inharmony

Correct your spelling

in harmony

show examples

with others.

However

, when we kill

murderers

, we are not working to

improveour

Correct your spelling

improve our

society

Instead

, we are stooping to the criminals' level. It makes me think about the revenge that came when playing games with my brothers. When we were kids/children, my brother would take my toys, so I would hit

himandtakemy

Correct your spelling

him and take my

toys back.

Then

he would hit me harder and take the toys again. Thinking of

thedeath

Correct your spelling

the death

penalty

, I imagine a murderer kills someone.

Society

takes revenge by killing the murderer.

This

leaves behind the murderer's family and friends, who have tremendous anger inside of them, which they may release onto

society

Thecycle

Correct your spelling

The cycle

of killing goes on and on.

Society

should not condemn people who are taking the same action that

society

is taking.

Society

tells us not to kill, and yet

society

kills when it exercises the

death

penalty

. Because of

this

contradiction, we should end the

death

penalty

and

insteadpunish

Correct your spelling

instead punish

murderers

by sentencing them to life in prison.

Submitted by gsgaganmann on Thu Feb 29 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. This can be improved by consistently linking ideas and paragraphs smoothly.

Coherence & Cohesion

Introduce and conclude your essay effectively. Your introduction was clear, but refining your conclusion to re-emphasize your stance could make it stronger.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. While you provided a personal anecdote, incorporating broader or more varied examples can add weight to your arguments.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your response is complete and addresses all parts of the task. You've responded to the question, but discussing both sides of the argument could provide a more balanced view.

Task Achievement

Aim for clear, comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. Some points may benefit from further clarification or deeper analysis to convey your perspective more effectively.

Task Achievement

Incorporate more relevant, specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While personal examples are valuable, adding factual or hypothetical examples related to society at large could enhance your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

262 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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