By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilt of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? You should write at least 250 words. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
"Do as I say, not as I do."
This
is what society
tells us when it punishes murderers
withthe
Correct your spelling
with the
death
penalty
. Society
tells us that murder is wrong, and in our legal system, murderis
against the law. Yet we still see our Correct your spelling
murder is
murderous
murders
society
kill murderers
, and thus
we are
committing murder ourselves. For
this
reason, the death
penalty
should end, and
instead
Add a comma
instead,
murderers
should be punished with life in prison.
Society
needs to show a positive model of how our lives should be and how peopleshould
act. We should always strive to improve our situation, to be at peace and Correct your spelling
people should
inharmony
with others. Correct your spelling
in harmony
However
, when we kill murderers
, we are not working to improveour
Correct your spelling
improve our
society
. Instead
, we are stooping to the criminals' level.
It makes me think about the revenge that came when playing games with my brothers. When we were kids/children, my brother would take my toys, so I would hit himandtakemy
toys back. Correct your spelling
him and take my
Then
he would hit me harder and take the toys again. Thinking of thedeath
Correct your spelling
the death
penalty
, I imagine a murderer kills someone. Society
takes
revenge by killing the murderer. This
leaves behind the murderer's family and friends, who have tremendous anger inside of them, which they may release onto society
. Thecycle
of killing goes on and on.
Correct your spelling
The cycle
Society
should not condemn people who are taking the same action that society
is
taking. Society
tells us not to kill, and yet society
kills when it exercises the death
penalty
. Because of this
contradiction, we should end the death
penalty
and insteadpunish
Correct your spelling
instead punish
murderers
by sentencing them to life in prison.Submitted by gsgaganmann on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. This can be improved by consistently linking ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce and conclude your essay effectively. Your introduction was clear, but refining your conclusion to re-emphasize your stance could make it stronger.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. While you provided a personal anecdote, incorporating broader or more varied examples can add weight to your arguments.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your response is complete and addresses all parts of the task. You've responded to the question, but discussing both sides of the argument could provide a more balanced view.
Task Achievement
Aim for clear, comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. Some points may benefit from further clarification or deeper analysis to convey your perspective more effectively.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more relevant, specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While personal examples are valuable, adding factual or hypothetical examples related to society at large could enhance your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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