IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays there are more and more advertisements. Some people think that they have a negative influence on people, and therefore should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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 modern era, the statistic of advertisements is increasing. Numerous individuals believe that
this
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number
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 should be decreased
due to
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 their detrimental effects. I firmly agree with those who think so, and plan to explore in
this
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 essay several positives and negatives.
Firstly
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, talking about negatives, I would like to point out the annoyance that
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
 watching TV programs.
For example
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, if a person intends to watch an interesting film and spend about two hours on it,
then
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due to
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 the abundance of advertising, much more time will be required.
Moreover
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, they are usually repeated and,
as a result
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, cannot tell the population anything new.
In addition
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, many people trust the information they hear from advertising and,
as a result
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, begin to make useless purchases.
Thus
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, distribution through advertising forces the public to spend money. Apart from the above-mentioned perspectives, there exist a few positives, the chief among them is the income that advertising various products and services platforms have.
This
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 income helps them to do their business more effectively.
For example
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, a huge
number
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 of banners that pop up on websites allow the website owner to earn money.
Furthermore
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, awareness of advertising products in society helps sell them faster. Without a doubt, it is only attractive to certain individuals, companies and corporations. In conclusion,
although
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 a
number
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 of companies and individuals can earn additional income through advertising, I firmly believe that the negative impact on people
such
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 as irritation and attraction to useless products makes me think about limiting the
number
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 of them.

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Task Response
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating your position in response to the prompt. This establishes a strong foundation for your essay.
Task Response
Enhance task achievement by including more specific, real-life examples or statistics to support your arguments. This adds credibility and depth to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve logical structure by using more varied linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. This makes your essay more cohesive and easy to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your conclusion, summarise your main points more effectively to reinforce your argument and give your essay a strong closure.
Task Response
Remember to evenly balance the discussion of both sides, even in a position essay. Acknowledge the counterarguments more substantially to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
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