Today, children spend a lot of their free time watching TV. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

#children #time #tv

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Nowadays kids spend a lot of their free time watching

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at home.

This

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essay will argue that the advantages of

this

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do not outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will first demonstrate the harmful effects on

children

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’s eyes

due to

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watching

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, and the impact on kids’ health

due to

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the development of a sedentary lifestyle, followed by an analysis of critics’ arguments who believe that watching

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improves the cognitive

abilities

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children

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. Televisions have very adverse effects on

children

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’s eyesight

due to

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the emission of blue light from the digital screen.

As a result

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, many

children

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whose eyesight is weak have to start wearing spectacles at a very early age, and it

also

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affects their level of concentration.

Furthermore

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, many

children

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love having oily snacks and soft drinks

while

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watching

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for long hours. These habits badly affect their health and make them lazy.

For example

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, obesity rates in

children

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have risen by 50% in the

last

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decade.

However

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, some people argue that watching

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can improve cognitive

abilities

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children

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because they can get knowledge of various subjects like history, science, arts etc. It might be true to some extent if

children

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choose to watch these types of channels on

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On the contrary

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, most of the

children

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waste their time watching cartoon channels.

Moreover

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, reading books on various subjects is far more effective than watching

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to improve cognitive

abilities

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. In conclusion, advantages like improvement in cognitive

abilities

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children

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cannot outweigh the major disadvantages of watching

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like harmful effects on eyesight and development of a sedentary lifestyle in

children

Use synonyms

Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on Fri Mar 01 2024

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Introduction

Make sure your introduction clearly states your stance and outlines the key points you will be discussing. Your introduction does a good job at this but could be more concise.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly and make your argument easier to follow. You've done a good job, but incorporating more could enhance readability.

Supporting Evidence

Try to support your arguments with specific examples or data wherever possible. Your essay mentions general statements, but concrete examples would strengthen your argument.

Task Response

For a stronger Task Achievement score, ensure each paragraph clearly contributes to answering the prompt. Be careful not to contradict your own argument without a clear resolution.

Balanced Discussion

When discussing advantages/disadvantages, ensure you explore both sides to maintain a balanced perspective, even if you have a strong opinion. This will add depth to your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Today, children spend a lot of their free time watching TV. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Your opinion

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

If countries are serious about solving traffic problems, they should tax private cars very heavily and use the money to provide free or very cheap rail travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The picture below shows the recycling process of wasted glass bottles. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The government should pay for the course fees for everyone who wants to study at university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more businesses, as well as individuals, are choosing to communicate either professionally or socially using technology rather than being face to face. Discuss both views and give your opinion.