Today, children spend a lot of their free time watching TV. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

#children #time #tv

Nowadays kids spend a lot of their free time watching

at home.

This

essay will argue that the advantages of

this

do not outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will first demonstrate the harmful effects on

children

’s eyes

due to

watching

, and the impact on kids’ health

due to

the development of a sedentary lifestyle, followed by an analysis of critics’ arguments who believe that watching

improves the cognitive

abilities

children

. Televisions have very adverse effects on

children

’s eyesight

due to

the emission of blue light from the digital screen.

As a result

, many

children

whose eyesight is weak have to start wearing spectacles at a very early age, and it

also

affects their level of concentration.

Furthermore

, many

children

love having oily snacks and soft drinks

while

watching

for long hours. These habits badly affect their health and make them lazy.

For example

, obesity rates in

children

have risen by 50% in the

last

decade.

However

, some people argue that watching

can improve cognitive

abilities

children

because they can get knowledge of various subjects like history, science, arts etc. It might be true to some extent if

children

choose to watch these types of channels on

On the contrary

, most of the

children

waste their time watching cartoon channels.

Moreover

, reading books on various subjects is far more effective than watching

to improve cognitive

abilities

. In conclusion, advantages like improvement in cognitive

abilities

children

cannot outweigh the major disadvantages of watching

like harmful effects on eyesight and development of a sedentary lifestyle in

children

Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on Fri Mar 01 2024

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Introduction

Make sure your introduction clearly states your stance and outlines the key points you will be discussing. Your introduction does a good job at this but could be more concise.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly and make your argument easier to follow. You've done a good job, but incorporating more could enhance readability.

Supporting Evidence

Try to support your arguments with specific examples or data wherever possible. Your essay mentions general statements, but concrete examples would strengthen your argument.

Task Response

For a stronger Task Achievement score, ensure each paragraph clearly contributes to answering the prompt. Be careful not to contradict your own argument without a clear resolution.

Balanced Discussion

When discussing advantages/disadvantages, ensure you explore both sides to maintain a balanced perspective, even if you have a strong opinion. This will add depth to your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today, children spend a lot of their free time watching TV. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Your opinion

You are invited to a party, however, because of some reasons you didn’t attend. Write a letter to the friend who invites you: (1) explain the reason why you didn’t go; (2) express your apology; (3) ask about some details in the party.

Most of our information comes from the internet nowadays. Some people say that a large part of the information we get is incorrect. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that now we can see the films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Most career choices demand vocational skills or specialist knowledge. However, despite this, most school still teach academic subjects such as history or social studies. discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

The main purpose of public libraries should be to provide books. Public libraries should not spend their limited resources on computer software, videos, or DVDs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?