Today, children spend a lot of their free time watching TV. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

#children #time #tv

Nowadays kids spend a lot of their free time watching

at home.

This

essay will argue that the advantages of

this

do not outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will first demonstrate the harmful effects on

children

’s eyes

due to

watching

, and the impact on kids’ health

due to

the development of a sedentary lifestyle, followed by an analysis of critics’ arguments who believe that watching

improves the cognitive

abilities

children

. Televisions have very adverse effects on

children

’s eyesight

due to

the emission of blue light from the digital screen.

As a result

, many

children

whose eyesight is weak have to start wearing spectacles at a very early age, and it

also

affects their level of concentration.

Furthermore

, many

children

love having oily snacks and soft drinks

while

watching

for long hours. These habits badly affect their health and make them lazy.

For example

, obesity rates in

children

have risen by 50% in the

last

decade.

However

, some people argue that watching

can improve cognitive

abilities

children

because they can get knowledge of various subjects like history, science, arts etc. It might be true to some extent if

children

choose to watch these types of channels on

On the contrary

, most of the

children

waste their time watching cartoon channels.

Moreover

, reading books on various subjects is far more effective than watching

to improve cognitive

abilities

. In conclusion, advantages like improvement in cognitive

abilities

children

cannot outweigh the major disadvantages of watching

like harmful effects on eyesight and development of a sedentary lifestyle in

children

Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on Fri Mar 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction

Make sure your introduction clearly states your stance and outlines the key points you will be discussing. Your introduction does a good job at this but could be more concise.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly and make your argument easier to follow. You've done a good job, but incorporating more could enhance readability.

Supporting Evidence

Try to support your arguments with specific examples or data wherever possible. Your essay mentions general statements, but concrete examples would strengthen your argument.

Task Response

For a stronger Task Achievement score, ensure each paragraph clearly contributes to answering the prompt. Be careful not to contradict your own argument without a clear resolution.

Balanced Discussion

When discussing advantages/disadvantages, ensure you explore both sides to maintain a balanced perspective, even if you have a strong opinion. This will add depth to your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people believe that people stay fit if they joing gym and sports Club while other think that they stay fit doing walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views along your opinion
Proponents deem that dwellers stay fit if they do joining gym and sports club while opponents reckon that they stay healthy doing walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. I will handout both the perspective along with my opinion.
7
band
Some cities have vehicle free days when private cars,trucks and motorcycle are banned from the city center. People are encouraged to use public transportation such as buses , taxes and metro on vehicle-free days. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In order to incentivise society to use public transportation, several associations have considered a day in which own cars must not be used. Instead, public vehicles, like buses, need to be used on that particular day. Although this approach might have some drawbacks, I think, beneficial points overshadow them.
<4
band
In some countries, secondary school aims to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is better?
I think that,children on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career.Because of this type of children get information which them will help in their future.And they will know what they should do and the children will be best in their profession.Because of this in my opinion children who study so, will be good specialists.
8
band
In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be outdoors after a particular time at night unless they are with an adult? What is your opinion about this?
In many places around the United States, a child who is between the ages of 13 and 19 is expected to be given a midnight curfew or be accompanied by a grown-up. I agree that parents should impose this rule for the benefit of their children because it ensures their safety and helps parents succeed in bringing them up.
8
band
You recently noticed a local restaurant that was offering a part-time job. Write a letter to the restaurant's manager. In your letter, explain that you would like to apply for the job give some details of any relevant experience that you have specify the days and times that would suit you
I trust this message finds you well. I recently came across your advertisement for a part-time position at Burger King on a local job board. I am writing to express my interest in applying for this role as it aligns perfectly with my skills and availability.

Today, children spend a lot of their free time watching TV. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that people stay fit if they joing gym and sports Club while other think that they stay fit doing walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views along your opinion

Some cities have vehicle free days when private cars,trucks and motorcycle are banned from the city center. People are encouraged to use public transportation such as buses , taxes and metro on vehicle-free days. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, secondary school aims to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is better?

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be outdoors after a particular time at night unless they are with an adult? What is your opinion about this?