IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people are of the opinion that prisons are basically universities of crime, fostering the kind of behaviour they aim to eradicate, and are, therefore, not effective. Others feel that prison life is not hard enough. Discuss the arguments on both sides of the issue. What is your own opinion on that matter?

Prisons
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 are intended to punish offenders and protect society, yet their effectiveness is widely debated. Some argue that
prisons
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 actually encourage more
crime
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,
while
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 others believe prison life is too easy and should be made harsher. Those who see
prisons
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 as “universities of
crime
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” point out that offenders are often grouped together, allowing them to exchange criminal ideas and form networks.
For example
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, a minor offender may enter prison but leave with greater knowledge of
crime
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 and stronger criminal connections.
In addition
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, when rehabilitation programmes are lacking, prisoners are likely to reoffend once released, which undermines the main purpose of incarceration.
In contrast
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, some believe that
prisons
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 are not strict enough to deter criminals. In certain places, inmates are provided with comfortable living conditions, access to leisure activities, and sometimes even higher education. Critics argue that these privileges reduce the fear of punishment, and harsher conditions,
such
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 as stricter rules and fewer comforts, would discourage people from breaking the law in the first place. In my opinion, neither extreme is effective.
Prisons
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 should provide discipline and limit luxuries to emphasise the seriousness of
crime
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, but at the same
time
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time,
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 they must focus on rehabilitation. Offering education, vocational training, and psychological support can help offenders reintegrate into society and reduce reoffending. In conclusion,
while
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prisons
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 may either encourage
crime
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 or seem too soft, the best approach is a balanced system that combines punishment with genuine opportunities for reform.

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development
Use more direct real life examples or facts to back up points.
coherence
Link ideas with smoother transitions so the flow stays clear from one idea to the next.
grammar
Try shorter sentences and simple grammar to avoid long errors.
task response
End with a clear restate of your view and one strong reason.
structure
Clear view on the topic.
coherence
Good use of sign posts like 'In my opinion' and 'In conclusion'.
content
The essay keeps a fair balance of sides.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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