computers are becoming an essential part of school. what is the advantage and disadvantage? what is your opinion?

As technology advances, the education sector is influenced by its development.

Although

this

advancement offers drawbacks and some merits. I think the benefits are tremendous, because of instant access to vast knowledge and data. Despite the potential demerits, since it has reduced students' writing and spelling abilities. So Is the education sector better off without a computer? Analysing both views and my opinion will give an in-depth understanding.

To begin

with, access to computers gives them the chance to gather information related to their subject or discipline since it provides immediate help to enhance understanding.

For instance

, final-year students writing their project enlist the help of previous related work and research from around the globe as a reference, as it ensures the successful completion of their study. Clearly,

this

is a task that can not accomplished without a laptop device.

Therefore

, it makes it clear that the use of systems is important to one's academic pursuit.

Conversely

, the use of grammar checks at universities is gradually making spelling skills rusty.

due to

typing with applications rather than writing with a pen.

For example

, at Cambrian College, students study with Microsoft applications and Grammarly, which ensures that 99% of them have zero grammatical errors in their assignments. Sadly,

this

would not happen if computers were not integrated into our teaching system.

Thus

, it highlights that learning with desktops is gradually eroding our writing and spelling skills. In my opinion, I think that incorporating the help of computers into our educational system has been beneficial because of the various learning opportunities it avails. In conclusion, people have developed poor writing skills owing to the usage of desktops in classes.

Whereas

, it opens the door to an ocean of knowledge and information

on the other hand

and

this

I completely agree with.

Hence

, it is obvious that incorporating the help of technologies in our educational system is paramount since the benefits outweigh the demerits.

Submitted by Eby on Sat Mar 02 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to have a clear and cohesive structure in your essay. Start with an introduction that outlines your main points, followed by paragraphs that clearly discuss advantages, disadvantages, and your personal opinion, before concluding with a summary of your argument.

Task Achievement

Provide specific examples to support your points. While you mentioned the advantages of using computers in education, such as access to information, and disadvantages like deteriorating spelling skills, developing these points with more detailed examples or statistics could strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to help the essay flow more naturally from one idea to the next. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your work.

Task Achievement

Ensure your opinion is stated clearly and developed fully. While you briefly mentioned your opinion towards the end, expanding on this with more detailed reasoning and examples would have made your position stronger and more compelling.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

321 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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computers are becoming an essential part of school. what is the advantage and disadvantage? what is your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach children. how to be member of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?