There is no denying the fact that nowadays, children spend several hours on smartphones daily. Despite people having arguments views about this topic, however, in my opinion, I consider that this is a negative development and in this essay will express my perspective, as well as discuss the reasons behind this case.
There is no denying the fact that nowadays,
children
spend several hours on smartphones daily. Despite people having arguments views about this
topic, however
, in my opinion, I consider that this
is a negative development and in
Change preposition
apply
this
essay will express my perspective, as well as
discuss the reasons behind this
case.
To begin
with, there are many reasons behind this
trend. Firstly
, the majority of kids do not have enough activities to fill their leisure time
. In other words
, most of
Change preposition
apply
parents
do not assign enough tasks for their children
or even encourage them to engage in entertainment pursuits in their leisure time
. In addition
, parents
, who play a role-model
for their Correct your spelling
role models
children
, spend a long time
on their phones, consequently
, their children
will copy them because they create a stereotypical thinking about the way they should spend their time
when they witness their parents
spending many hours on their phones. For example
, based on a recent study, parents
who spend many hours replying to work emails in front of their children
, their children
spend this
period playing on phones.
In terms of the bad effects of smartphones. Our children
are going to destruct
their personalities if they keep using their devices in the same way. It is Verb problem
destroy
also
possible to say that are becoming phone addicts and they are losing a lot of social activities which could be considered as the main way to build their social skills. Moreover
, they are creating a huge gap with their parents
. For instance
, if your son spend
the majority of his Change the verb form
spends
time
on phone
, Add an article
the phone
then
you will not find special time
to spend with him.
In conclusion, there are many reasons behind this
phenomenon, as well as
many disadvantages. It is also
true that there are some positive effects such
as stay
consistently connected with friends and relatives, Wrong verb form
staying
however
, I believe this
case is a negative development.Submitted by shaymaa.khalaf91 on
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task response
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. While you present your perspective and provide examples, deeper exploration and analysis of each point could strengthen your argument. Consider discussing the implications or potential solutions to the issues you raise.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by better organizing your essay. Though you have an introduction, body, and conclusion, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences will enhance readability and persuasion. Perhaps using topic sentences more effectively could help in this regard.
coherence and cohesion
To improve your coherence, make sure the connection between your ideas is more explicit. Using a wider variety of linking phrases can also help in making the transition between sentences and paragraphs smoother, leading to a more cohesive essay.