It is impossible to help all the people in the world who are in need, so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

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Some argue that helping deprived nations is not necessary because helping everyone in the world is unrealistic,
thus
the government should only prioritize its citizens.
This
essay completely disagrees with
this
statement because being selfish can reduce economic growth and hinder innovation.
To begin
with, focusing on their own nation can limit the growth of their economy.
This
can discourage foreign investors from investing
This
is disadvantageous especially in developing countries because they do not have access to quality education and the job opportunities are low.
However
, giving aid to others can strengthen the connection between nations, which can lead to investments.
For instance
, the investments of the US companies in the Philippines have employed a significant number of Filipinos.
Thus
, being selfish will not help the economy to grow.
In addition
to that, isolating the country can decrease innovations. The innovations in today's world are usually a contribution from different people around the globe.
For instance
, the first computer was developed by an English mathematician. Through shared knowledge and ideas between other people, the computer became the greatest invention of all time.
However
, if one nation is not open to others,
this
can hinder them from adopting new and advanced technologies.
This
proves that being open to other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
can bring significant benefits.
While
focusing only on one's country can be beneficial, international collaboration contributes more to a richer economy and it can help improve technology.
Thus
, I believe that the disadvantages of not helping others are greater than its advantages.
Submitted by yoko.onerom on

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task response
Expand your introduction by adding a thesis statement that clearly outlines the main points you will discuss. This sets a clearer roadmap for your essay.
task response
Incorporate more specific examples and data to strengthen your argument. While you provided examples, adding details like statistical data or specific outcomes of investments could make your argument more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure logical flow between paragraphs by using a wider variety of transition words and phrases. While your essay generally has a good structure, enhancing transitions can make the progression of ideas smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Try to construct more complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency. While your sentences are clear, using a mix of complex and simple sentences can improve the overall quality of your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resources
  • moral obligation
  • global stability
  • economic impact
  • domestic issues
  • international aid
  • diplomatic relationships
  • resource allocation
  • healthcare
  • education
  • infrastructure
  • national priorities
  • desperate need
  • indirect benefit
  • goodwill
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