IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development

#celebrities #money #politicians #development
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Nowadays.
celebrities
 are
earnning
Correct your spelling
earning
 more money than politicians in
this
 essay I am discussing both views positive and negative.and I give my opinion
Firstly
. There are a
lot
 of positive first point is the
celebrities
 are advertising
for example
 : the website shein so there will be A
lot
 of
people
 are going to buy
this
 type because
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 are thinking about
this
person
 gave them a good quality of clothes so it is popular and all the
people
 know
this
 type of cloths or choose more over the
celebrities
 gave a
people
 discount of
this
 clothes or chose all things in
this
 website so there are a
lot
 of
people
 are buying
this
 type of clothes .
Secondly
 is for
people
 ,there are
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of negative things fist .
this
person
 who lay and they don't have trust so there will be bad for
this
person
 and
people
 can't buy because it is important to go to shopping to make sure about ask the
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
 Do you have advertisement now there will tell about anything
that is
nescarory
Correct your spelling
miscarry
 to make sure about
this
 discuss but sometimes
this
proplem
Correct your spelling
problem
 is coming .
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion
.the
Correct your spelling
the
 main point in positive is :the
celebrities
 are making dscount for a
people
 to take the manger of
this
 company In my opinion
that is
 good for any
person
however
 the minority of
people
 agree with
celebrities
 are laying because it is important to having turst
that is
 my prepective .
Submitted by nawafalruwaili363 on

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structure
Work on your essay structure - start with an introduction that clearly states the topic and your opinion, develop each point in its own paragraph and end with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reflects your opinion. This will help in clearly delivering your argument.
grammar and punctuation
Focus on your grammar and punctuation. Correct use of punctuation marks and sentence structure can greatly enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic, and try to avoid repetition. This will help make your essay more interesting and engaging.
argumentation
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more convincing.
task understanding
Make sure to address both parts of the question thoroughly. Discuss why celebrities earn more than politicians, and if this is positive or negative, including clear reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • endorsements
  • revenue streams
  • global presence
  • diversified branding
  • income sources
  • free-market principles
  • market value
  • government budgets
  • public funds
  • public perception
  • value generation
  • bureaucratic
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
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