Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of changing people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

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Museums

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are great sources of exposure to history,

art

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, and culture. Only a few

museums

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are free

while

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others charge

admission

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fees

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This

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essay will discuss that charging

admission

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fees

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has more disadvantages than advantages. There are lots of benefits to charging the general public at

galleries

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First,

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galleries

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manage their finances adequately when they have regular income streams.

This

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helps them to cover maintenance costs, employees' salaries, and day-to-day operational charges.

In addition

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galleries

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are not overcrowded which provides a unique experience to concentrate on each little detail of any

art

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form.

For instance

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, in Pakistan, the Lahore

Art

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Gallery has a handsome subscription fee where services are not only state-of-the-

art

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but

people

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also

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enjoy

art

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without any hassle.

Overall

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admission

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fees

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have positive implications for

galleries

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Conversely

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, there are numerous drawbacks to charging

people

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museums

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. Since imposing

fees

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, a huge segment of society has been deprived of its basic right of awareness about

art

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and culture. Even more, most of the

museums

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face challenges in attracting visitors because

people

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are not interested in visiting there.

For example

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, even though the Taxila Museum has been enriched with plenty of artefacts, it always seems empty as

people

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neither have interest nor can afford its expenses. Despite many marketing campaigns, they have failed to convince the general public to take

museums

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into consideration.

Thus

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admission

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fee discourages the communities from visiting

museums

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. In conclusion,

This

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essay discussed both the benefits and drawbacks of charging

museums

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admission

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fees

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According to

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me, the drawbacks outweigh the benefits in

this

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scenario.

Haris KhanTue Mar 05 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question with a clear opinion or stance. The introduction could more explicitly state your view. In each paragraph, directly relate your points back to how they support your main argument to improve clarity and relevance.

Coherence and Cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, use a variety of linking words and phrases to smoothly guide the reader through your arguments. While your essay has a decent structure, diversifying your transition phrases can make your arguments more coherent and easier to follow.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. It's good practice to start each body paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly states the main point you're going to discuss, followed by supporting details. This structure was somewhat present in your essay but could be more consistently applied to improve overall coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Admission fee
Revenue stream
Maintenance
Overcrowding
Commercialization
Cultural heritage
Diverse attendance
Community ownership
Access to culture
Visitor experience
Exhibit quality
Cultural mission
Reliance on funding
Government subsidies
Cultural accessibility

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of changing people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field has a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case?

Whereas some think that celebrities should not get involved in politics, others claim they can play an important role in changing society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.