Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of changing people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Museums
Use synonyms
are great sources of exposure to history,
art
Use synonyms
, and culture. Only a few
museums
Use synonyms
are free
while
Linking Words
others charge
admission
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss that charging
admission
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
has more disadvantages than advantages. There are lots of benefits to charging the general public at
galleries
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
galleries
Use synonyms
manage their finances adequately when they have regular income streams.
This
Linking Words
helps them to cover maintenance costs, employees' salaries, and day-to-day operational charges.
In addition
Linking Words
,
galleries
Use synonyms
are not overcrowded which provides a unique experience to concentrate on each little detail of any
art
Use synonyms
form.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Pakistan, the Lahore
Art
Use synonyms
Gallery has a handsome subscription fee where services are not only state-of-the-
art
Use synonyms
but
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
enjoy
art
Use synonyms
without any hassle.
Overall
Linking Words
,
admission
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
have positive implications for
galleries
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, there are numerous drawbacks to charging
people
Use synonyms
at
museums
Use synonyms
. Since imposing
fees
Use synonyms
, a huge segment of society has been deprived of its basic right of awareness about
art
Use synonyms
and culture. Even more, most of the
museums
Use synonyms
face challenges in attracting visitors because
people
Use synonyms
are not interested in visiting there.
For example
Linking Words
, even though the Taxila Museum has been enriched with plenty of artefacts, it always seems empty as
people
Use synonyms
neither have interest nor can afford its expenses. Despite many marketing campaigns, they have failed to convince the general public to take
museums
Use synonyms
into consideration.
Thus
Linking Words
,
admission
Use synonyms
fee discourages the communities from visiting
museums
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
This
Linking Words
essay discussed both the benefits and drawbacks of charging
museums
Use synonyms
admission
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
me, the drawbacks outweigh the benefits in
this
Linking Words
scenario.
Submitted by Haris Khan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To enhance task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question with a clear opinion or stance. The introduction could more explicitly state your view. In each paragraph, directly relate your points back to how they support your main argument to improve clarity and relevance.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, use a variety of linking words and phrases to smoothly guide the reader through your arguments. While your essay has a decent structure, diversifying your transition phrases can make your arguments more coherent and easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. It's good practice to start each body paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly states the main point you're going to discuss, followed by supporting details. This structure was somewhat present in your essay but could be more consistently applied to improve overall coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: