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Band 4

Scholarships are a great opportunity to gain the study you like. What are the main advantages or disadvantages of studying abroad?

#scholarships #opportunity #gain #study
It is argued that there are many benefits when people get funding from the government to
study
 overseas. I believe that can make us have a new relation from outside and become
intelegent
Correct your spelling
intelligent
. Fundamentally, when
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 go to
study
 abroad they will have a new experience. If they went
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
outside, especially out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their countries, they could
have
Verb problem
make
show examples
a new friends
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new friend
new friends
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and, new
show examples
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 atmosphere and create
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 from there . Take Lina, my friend as an example, when she back from
Correct article usage
the Netherland
show examples
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
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, she
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
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 me her new friend from there
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 is not the same nationality
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 us and
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
show examples
 a good thing that they still
communication
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communicate
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each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 other like siblings.
Therefore
, In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
that is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of the benefits
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
when we can go outside.
Subsequently
, there
is
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are
show examples
 other reasons when
pople
Correct your spelling
people
 go to other nations. They will learn about new culture
such
 as
,
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apply
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 traditional food and traditional dance and
also
 they can learn a new thing that they cannot find in their own country. The
different
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difference
show examples
 between people who
study
 abroad and the people who live in their own country is they can feel more confident when they want to talk or do anything because of their knowledge and experience.
Thus
, they become
smart
Correct word choice
smarter
show examples
 than before.
To sum up
, there are many positive aspects,
such
 as
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a new experience and it will make them smarter than before because
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 abroad in other countries.
Hence
, they really feel more confident when they want to do
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 variety of jobs.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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introduction
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logical structure
Organize your essay into defined paragraphs, each dealing with a specific aspect of the topic. Begin with a topic sentence that signals the main idea of the paragraph.
conclusion
Incorporate a conclusion that summarizes your key points and restates your opinion or the topic in a fresh way.
supported main points
Expand your supporting details with more relevant examples and evidence. Quantify your arguments where possible to strengthen them.
complete response
Focus on clarity and precision in your writing to directly address the essay question. Avoid being vague or general.
coherence
To improve coherence, connect your ideas and paragraphs smoothly using transitional phrases.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express your ideas more vividly and accurately.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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