Some people believe they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree?

The issue of whether cultural
traditions
become diminished or preserved through
commercialization
is a polarizing one. On one hand, monetizing these
traditions
might risk altering or eroding their authentic essence, making them mere attractions devoid of real significance. On the other, leveraging commercial opportunities could offer a practical path to ensuring these
traditions
are not only maintained but
also
celebrated by wider audiences. Supporters of
commercialization
argue that without financial incentives, many cultural
practices
are at risk of fading into obscurity. They posit that through commercial activities—like tourism, cultural festivals, or the sale of handicrafts—vital funds can be raised. These funds not only support the artisans and practitioners directly involved but can
also
contribute to community projects that preserve the broader cultural heritage. Critics,
however
, fear that
commercialization
can strip cultural
traditions
of their depth and meaning. They worry that in the pursuit of profit, cultural
practices
might be simplified or modified to appeal to outsider tastes,
thus
losing their authenticity and value to the community that originally fostered them.
Moreover
, the benefits of
commercialization
may not be equitably distributed, potentially exploiting the very cultures they aim to support. In my view,
while
the risks of
commercialization
are real, they do not outweigh the potential benefits. With careful management and ethical
practices
, it is possible to both preserve and celebrate cultural
traditions
through commercial avenues. Key to
this
balance is ensuring that communities retain control over how their
traditions
are shared and commercialized, ensuring that they are neither misrepresented nor undervalued. In conclusion, the
commercialization
of cultural
traditions
is not inherently detrimental. If approached ethically, with the consent and involvement of the originating communities, it can provide a sustainable method of preservation. It's crucial that the authenticity and integrity of cultural
practices
are maintained, ensuring that they continue to be sources of identity and pride for future generations.
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the question posed. It appears the response provided does not directly answer the specific question about taxation and personal income. When constructing your essay, make sure to understand and directly engage with the question's topic to ensure task achievement.
task achievement
Improve task achievement by incorporating specific examples that directly relate to the essay question. Your response provided general arguments but missed focusing on explicit examples that relate directly to the topic of taxation and personal income. Utilizing detailed examples can enhance clarity and provide tangible support for your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear logical structure throughout your response by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea that directly supports your position on the essay topic. While your essay is well-organized, ensuring that each part of your argument clearly connects to the question of taxation and personal income will enhance coherence and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Integrate your introduction and conclusion more tightly with the body of your essay by directly referencing your arguments made in the main body. This ensures a cohesive flow and reinforces your stance on the specific issue discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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