When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that it is more essential to establish entertainment and sports facilities than shopping opportunities when designing the structure of a city. In my opinion, there should be a balance between different social welfare requirements. When it comes to the designation of a new urban area, addressing the areas for public enjoyment is inevitable. In

this

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regard, high-ranking officials should build parks

such

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as theme, local parks, and playgrounds.

This

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generates and promotes societal spirit.

Moreover

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, the required space for teaching various games to children will be supplied.

In addition

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to that, no one can deny the significance of exercising complexes. The more sports places are developed, the fewer offences will come across around the city.

For example

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, the rate of crimes committed by the young has decreased dramatically in Kermanshah, Iran, after a decade of effort to establish many entertaining spots.

On the other hand

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, the basic demands of every individual like shopping centres should be considered as the first step of a new town development.

Therefore

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, modern malls, local stores, and

also

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chain stores can be built to facilitate purchasing demanding needs of living.

For instance

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, many advanced cities like Tokyo and Washington have the latest equipped and modern places to supply commodities and many people travel to these cities in their country or from other countries to shop. In conclusion,

Although

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, many people are of the opinion that green areas and workout fields are the most significant aspects of the establishment of a new urban area, as far as I am concerned, making a balance between providing all living requirements is more necessary

such

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as shopping opportunities.

a.danialbahramiFri Jan 24 2025

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task achievement

Your essay effectively covers the topic by discussing both the need for recreational spaces as well as shopping facilities in new towns. However, the examples supporting your arguments could be more specific and detailed to strengthen your task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to provide more cohesive links between ideas to enhance logical flow.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging the importance of both public parks and shopping centers, which aligns with the task requirement.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your line of thought.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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