When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that it is more essential to establish entertainment and sports facilities than shopping opportunities when designing the structure of a city. In my opinion, there should be a balance between different social welfare requirements. When it comes to the designation of a new urban area, addressing the areas for public enjoyment is inevitable. In
this
Linking Words
regard, high-ranking officials should build parks
such
Linking Words
as theme, local parks, and playgrounds.
This
Linking Words
generates and promotes societal spirit.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the required space for teaching various games to children will be supplied.
In addition
Linking Words
to that, no one can deny the significance of exercising complexes. The more sports places are developed, the fewer offences will come across around the city.
For example
Linking Words
, the rate of crimes committed by the young has decreased dramatically in Kermanshah, Iran, after a decade of effort to establish many entertaining spots.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the basic demands of every individual like shopping centres should be considered as the first step of a new town development.
Therefore
Linking Words
, modern malls, local stores, and
also
Linking Words
chain stores can be built to facilitate purchasing demanding needs of living.
For instance
Linking Words
, many advanced cities like Tokyo and Washington have the latest equipped and modern places to supply commodities and many people travel to these cities in their country or from other countries to shop. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
, many people are of the opinion that green areas and workout fields are the most significant aspects of the establishment of a new urban area, as far as I am concerned, making a balance between providing all living requirements is more necessary
such
Linking Words
as shopping opportunities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay effectively covers the topic by discussing both the need for recreational spaces as well as shopping facilities in new towns. However, the examples supporting your arguments could be more specific and detailed to strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to provide more cohesive links between ideas to enhance logical flow.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging the importance of both public parks and shopping centers, which aligns with the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your line of thought.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: