succesfull sports professional can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions.some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The issue of professional athletes receiving exorbitant salaries has generated a significant debate among stakeholders and the public alike.
While
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some argue that
this
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trend entails various drawbacks,
such
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as being unfair to other essential professions, others maintain that it offers substantial benefits to
society
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. In my opinion, the merits of
this
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trend outweigh its demerits.
This
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essay will explore both perspectives regarding financial compensation in sports. On one hand, there are several compelling reasons why paying high salaries to professionals in the sports industry can be seen as a positive development. First and foremost, lucrative contracts motivate players to perform at their absolute best.
Additionally
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, it pushes them to represent their country with pride in international competitions.
For instance
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, empirical evidence suggests that financial security is a milestone factor for players to sustain a short and high-risk career.
On the other hand
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, critics often point out that
this
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income disparity compared to other vital occupations, like medicine or education, remains a crucial concern. Primarily, when focusing on
this
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aspect, individuals may feel that essential sectors are undervalued by
society
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.
Furthermore
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,
this
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approach can lead to demotivation among highly skilled professionals in other fields.
Consequently
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,
it is clear that
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if not managed carefully,
such
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extreme wage gaps can cause social resentment and a misallocation of talent. In conclusion,
although
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paying sports professionals significantly higher than those in other institutions presents certain challenges, its influence on contemporary
society
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cannot be ignored. I am convinced that the positives of
this
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phenomenon exceed the negatives. Moving forward, it is essential for policymakers and
society
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to find a balance between keeping players motivated financially and ensuring that other crucial professions are adequately rewarded.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You say why high pay is good, but your side about unfair pay is short.
task response
Give a clearer opinion in the body, not only in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
Use one real and clear example. The example now is too general.
task response
Make each main idea bigger with one more reason or result.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because it has clear paragraphing.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used well, but some feel a little formal or repeated. Try simpler links too.
coherence and cohesion
The second body paragraph connects well to the question, but the first body paragraph does not fully explain why the high pay is justified.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are clear alone, but the idea flow inside the paragraph can be stronger.
task response
You answer both views and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly shows the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion is clear and fits the essay well.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphs are in a good order.
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