Stress related illness are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this. What is solution can you suggest?

#stress #illness

this

contemporary era,

stress

is a part of everyone's activity.

However

, some masses say that

stress

is growing rapidly day by day in human beings.

This

essay not only discusses the problem but gives the solution to how to reduce

stress

Firstly

, nowadays the

life

of everybody is busy and they have no moment to do any other activities. Most folk are doing a private trade and they work near about 12 hours a day so they suffer from mental health diseases. Because in

this

sector employer give numerous of workload on their employees and they become stressed to how to do all work in their shift.

Secondly

, with pace of the modern

life

, mass can not try to balance performance, family and personal pace. They think if they ask someone about how to manage the pace between them

then

they feel guilty. So that they do not talk about same to anyone and

as a result

they suffer from

stress

. In my opinion, there are numerous solutions to solve these types of diseases. First and foremost, the government should make a law for employees to do only eight hours

trade

Change preposition

of trade

show examples

, so that people have the plethora of space to do extra activities

such

as yoga, gym and other exercise. If

crowd

Correct article usage

the crowd

show examples

this

exercise, they enjoy a

stress

-free

life

In addition

, folk should join the class on time management without hesitation. Once they learn to manage the space between profession and personal

life

then

they reduce the

stress

from their

life

. In conclusion,

however

crowd

Add an article

the crowd

show examples

have a plethora of

stress

in their jobs, they should trade only eight hours and

also

balance in profession and personal

life

Submitted by harmanjotdhindsa on Wed Mar 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay addresses the topic and provides a clear structure. To improve coherence and cohesion, work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and sentences. This can be achieved by using more varied linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument more seamlessly. Furthermore, enhance the logical flow by organizing your ideas more effectively; each paragraph should contain one main idea, followed by supporting sentences.

task achievement

You have made an effort to cover the task by discussing causes and proposing solutions regarding stress-related illnesses. To improve, ensure your response is adequately developed. Expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations or additional examples. For task achievement, ensure that examples are directly related to the points made and are specific rather than general. A more direct response to the task questions with structured argumentation will help you score higher.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

stress-related illnesses
rapid pace
pressure
balance
omnipresent
information overload
disconnect
economic uncertainties
job insecurity
financial stress
environmental factors
chronic stress
work-life balance
flexible working hours
mental health
support programs
physical activity
healthy eating habits
awareness
accessibility
counseling
stress management
community environment
reconnect with nature

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
The road near your house is completely unsuitable for traffic. Write a letter to your local council. In your letter: • Introduce yourself; • Explain what the problem is; • Tell what would you like to be done. Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ....,
I am John Scot and I am currently living in "Locky Hill" next to the "Barlie Road". I am writing to request your urgent action for congested traffic due to this road's improper construction.
7.5
band
Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?
In contemporary times, many companies compete with each other by broadcasting numerous advertisements, leading some people to believe that consumers are significantly influenced by these adverts. From my point of view, I disagree with this notion. My supporting reasons, as well as ways to protect citizens from advertisements, will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.
5
band
Some people feel that entertainment (eg film stars, pop musicians and story stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of Jobs should be highly paid.
In this Contomporary era, the entertainment sector play a crucial role in people's loves. A certain number of people are considered that entertainers such as actors, pop musicians, and story starts are paid more money. I strongly disagree with this statement because professionals like teachers, and doctors should be highly paid. This essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
<4
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or an negative development
Recently, medical treatments preference has been altered within the society. This issue drives two deterrent effects simultaneously, which subjected to the earlier mentioned is notified to be affordable, while less acknowledged status is experienced as the detrimental impact. Eventually, to my knowledge this concern would only pertaining to inevitable trustworthy application in regards to the reference drugs.
7.5
band
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People tend to spend time together, work together, and eventually live together, which seems to be the nature of human beings.However, an intimate relationship can also lead to endless arguments and fights. That's why it's crucial for us to seek a way to maintain a proper balance between any kind of relationship in life.

Stress related illness are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this. What is solution can you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

Some people feel that entertainment (eg film stars, pop musicians and story stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of Jobs should be highly paid.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or an negative development

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.