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Band 6

Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future lives. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #experiences #children #school #effect #future #lives #teenagers #influence
While
 numerous individuals think that children should gain certain
skills
 before going to school to have better results in future, others disagree with them and believe that later experiences will have a bigger impact on a person's life. I agree with the second opinion and in
this
 essay plan to substantiate
this
 viewing. On the one side, there are a number of
skills
 that are easier to learn from childhood.
For example
, the earlier a person starts playing the piano or doing sports, the more success he can achieve later.
This
 is
due to
 human anatomical features,
such
 as muscle elasticity.
Moreover
, those kids who start later are less likely to be able to continue with these subjects. More specifically, kids who already have general knowledge can dig deeper and spend time developing other
skills
. On the other side, having certain abilities before starting the regular education process does not always bring positive consequences. To illustrate, if a kid has already learned elementary reading and counting
skills
, he will feel
himself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more clever than his classmates, and
further
 education will become uninteresting for him and, in turn, might lead to losing motivation and enthusiasm.
Apart from
this
, every person has his own individual period of life
that is
 better for the enhancement of certain
skills
.
For instance
, if
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one child
to start
Verb problem
starts
show examples
 learning to read at the age of 4-5, for another kid it could be better at the age of 7-8.
To conclude
,
although
 some people think that it is better to start studying when they are teens, I firmly believe that earlier education can have more benefits in the future.
Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Your essay somewhat digressed from the prompt by focusing more on 'when it's beneficial to start learning' rather than discussing the impact of experiences in childhood vs. adolescence on future lives.
Task Achievement
Provide clearer, more direct examples that relate closely to the topic. While you provided some examples, making them more specific and directly tied to the impacts on future lives would strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Work on clarifying your stance from the beginning and maintain a consistent viewpoint throughout the essay. Clearly state your opinion in the introduction and reinforce it in your conclusion for stronger task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph followed by supporting details. This will enhance the logical flow and make your argument more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly. This will help your essay flow more naturally and make your ideas easier to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive Development
  • Emotional Foundation
  • Social Skills
  • Identity Formation
  • Critical Thinking
  • Peer Influence
  • Resilience
  • Leadership Qualities
  • Balanced Approach
  • Foundational Skills
  • Complex Social Dynamics
  • Empathy
  • Teamwork Skills
  • Decision-Making Skills
  • Risk and Reward Balance
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