IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows internet speeds in five different Australian cities in megabytes per second in 2005 and 2015. The graph shows the type of internet connections Australian people had in 2010.

The chart shows internet speeds in five different Australian cities in megabytes per second in 2005 and 2015. The graph shows the type of internet connections Australian people had in 2010.
#internet #speeds #five #australian #cities #megabytes #second #type #connections #people
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The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 gives information about the variety of
internet
Use synonyms
 connections Australians had in the year 2010,
while
Linking Words
 the bar graph presents a comparison of
internet
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 speed in several Australian cities between 2005 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen from the pie
chart
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 that broadband was a highly popular type of
internet
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 access,
while
Linking Words
 dial-up was not in demand over the given period.
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
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apply
show examples
 the
internet
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 speed increased rapidly within 10 years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Sydney showed the fastest test results whilst Brisbane the slowest in both 2005 and 2015 years. In detail, the pie
chart
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 illustrates that three-quarters of Australians - the majority were satisfied with broadband.
Although
Linking Words
 just above one-third of people preferred mobile
internet
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 access rather than dial-up. Under two per cent chose to have it.
However
Linking Words
, it left just below one per cent of citizens, who did not have
internet
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 connection in 2010.
According to
Linking Words
 data on the bar
chart
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 the quickest
internet
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 in 2005 was in Sydney. It reached
to
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apply
show examples
approximately 13 megabytes per
Linking Words
second
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,
while
Linking Words
 the poorest speed was in Brisbane and showed just above 2 megabytes per
second
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. It can be noticed that Perth City was
second
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 of five and was fixed on nearly 5 MBPS. By 2015 the
internet
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 speed rapidly went up compared with 2005. Sydney and Brisbane speeds visibly uplifted by approximately 1 MBPS.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in Melbourne, the quality of the
internet
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 jumped up from 2 to about 6 megabytes per
second
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.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, internet, second with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
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