IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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bar chart illustrates the data about three computer packages that were downloaded from the internet and how many hours were spent per
week
Use synonyms
(in 1000s), over the
five
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 weeks given.
Overall
Linking Words
, Most of the
time
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 for
package
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 downloading is spent on the
ActiveX
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package
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 in
week
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five
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. In the first
week
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, the
ActiveX
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package
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 takes more
time
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(around 70
seconds
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) than the other two packages.
Java
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 and Net packages spend around 50
seconds
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 and 30
seconds
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 respectively. In the second
week
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,
java
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 spent slightly more
time
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(60
seconds
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)than in the previous
week
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
Activex
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package
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 as usual takes the highest
time
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(100
seconds
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)for downloading.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the net
package
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 spent around 20
seconds
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
week
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 three, the Net
package
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 takes 10
seconds
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 to download which is the lowest
time
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 in
five
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 weeks.
Java
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 and
ActiveX
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 take 70 and 90
seconds
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 respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
week
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five
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ActiveX
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 and
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java
Capitalize word
Java
show examples
 take slightly more
seconds
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 than in the previous
week
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words week, five, time, package, activex, seconds, java with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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