IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In recent years a large number of highly skilled professionals like doctors, engineers and IT professionals from poorer countries are migrating to developed countries for better-paying jobs. What are the possible problems of this and what solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue?

#years #professionals #doctors #engineers #countries #jobs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there is a phenomenon in developing
countries
Use synonyms
' highly skilled
professionals
Use synonyms
. A sizable amount of them
such
Linking Words
 as doctors, engineers, and IT
workers
Use synonyms
 are moving into developed
countries
Use synonyms
 to pursue occupancies with higher salaries.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on possible root causes that lie behind salary discrepancies and
career
Use synonyms
 opportunities.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that,
this
Linking Words
 essay will offer measures that establish
nationalism
Use synonyms
 and competitive benefits. Regarding the underlying problems of professional migration from developing to developed
countries
Use synonyms
, two plausible reasons may explain the shift.
Firstly
Linking Words
, developed
countries
Use synonyms
 can offer significantly higher salary packages. In Singapore,
for example
Linking Words
, the
companies
Use synonyms
 can provide a salary three times higher than
companies
Use synonyms
 in Indonesia for
workers
Use synonyms
 with the same experience and skill set.
Secondly
Linking Words
, working in richer
countries
Use synonyms
 is perceived to foster
career
Use synonyms
 growth.
For instance
Linking Words
, most of South East Asia's headquarters are located in Singapore;
therefore
Linking Words
, working there will accelerate
professionals
Use synonyms
'
career
Use synonyms
 opportunities by leading crucial projects and having exposure to senior leadership. People from developing
countries
Use synonyms
 are interested in working at developed
countries
Use synonyms
'
companies
Use synonyms
 given the fact they can get a higher benefit and faster
career
Use synonyms
 growth. To hinder skilled
professionals
Use synonyms
 in moving from developing to developed
countries
Use synonyms
, two approaches should be taken which are establishing
nationalism
Use synonyms
 and competitive benefits in the country of origin. In regards to
nationalism
Use synonyms
, the nation should be able to cultivate the feeling of pride and love for the country.
For instance
Linking Words
, multiple Indonesians started to work at some government technology
companies
Use synonyms
 since it is led by prominent and inspiring startup founder figures. Competitive benefit,
in addition
Linking Words
, should
also
Linking Words
 be considered in retaining high-performing employees in developing
countries
Use synonyms
. The benefit can be given in the form of multiple items
such
Linking Words
 as health insurance, stock, and interest-free mortgages. When the
workers
Use synonyms
 are motivated by
nationalism
Use synonyms
 and appreciated by well-deserved compensation, I believe they will eagerly work in their country. In conclusion, despite the popular movement of skilled
professionals
Use synonyms
 from developing to developed
countries
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 caused by high compensation and accelerated
career
Use synonyms
 growth, measures should be taken to retain the
workers
Use synonyms
 in their original
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as cultivating
nationalism
Use synonyms
 and offering reasonable benefits.
Submitted by haaggurl_ on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your task achievement score further, ensure that every part of the question is fully addressed. While your essay does cover possible problems and solutions, making a stronger connection between your examples and the issue at hand will enhance your score. Also, integrating a broader range of examples that cover more diverse professions and countries could provide a more comprehensive answer.
coherence cohesion
While your essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, further refinement can be achieved through more varied transitional phrases and a clearer distinction between paragraphs. This involves not only linking ideas within and between paragraphs more seamlessly but also ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central theme that is explicitly stated in its opening sentence.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: