IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is estimated that the
number
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 of
people
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 travelling within their country is increasing in comparison with international travel.
Although
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 a majority of
people
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 are inclined to take domestic
trips
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, I believe
this
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 is not the case. In
this
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 essay, I will outline the reasons behind
this
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 trend.
To begin
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, technology has made travelling easier
due to
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 the accessibility that it has made for
people
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. Advances in technology have brought us several benefits in the travelling sector and will be developed in the
future
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. Going on
trips
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 will be much easier, faster and safer.
For example
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, the safety and security of transportation facilities and cars have improved, and in the blink of an eye,
people
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 are enabled to take domestic journeys.
Therefore
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, they will be more inclined to take international
trips
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 to get to know diverse cultures and meet new
people
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 around the globe.
Moreover
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, The
number
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 of options for travelling has increased, and there will be more ones in the
future
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. One decade later,
People
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 will have more options than now to choose and
this
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 will encourage them as incentives to travel abroad.
For instance
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, If folks had the option to take a trip to London from India at the same pace as the light speed in 1 hour, it would be unlikely to go on holiday in their own country.
In addition
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, a vast
number
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 of regulations have been imposed strictly to keep an eye on the safety of
the
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apply
show examples
transportation facilities,
such
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 as aeroplanes, trains ,and so on in order to minimize injuries on international journeys.
As a result
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,
people
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 will be at no harm and a great
number
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 of
people
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 will be likely to spend their holiday in other countries.
To sum up
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, more folks will be travelling to other countries during their holiday,
as a result
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 of advances in technology and a great
number
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 of options that there will be in the
future
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.
Consequently
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, In my opinion, crowds will potentially take more international
trips
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 in the
future
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, and I hope steps should be taken to decrease the amount of pollution those advanced facilities will cause
due to
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this
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 rising trend.

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coherence cohesion
The essay well argues for the increasing trend of international travel against domestic travel, clearly presenting viewpoints and justifying them with examples. The logical flow is generally good, but further refinement in linking ideas and paragraphs together for smoother transitions could enhance the coherence of your essay. Consider using a wider variety of transitional phrases and ensure each paragraph flows naturally into the next.
task achievement
While you effectively address the prompt, there could be a more comprehensive exploration of both views before stating your own. Incorporating a balanced discussion of why some might choose domestic travel, followed by a rebuttal, would strengthen your overall argument. This increases task achievement by showing a full understanding of the topic. Additionally, try to be more explicit in summarizing your main points in the conclusion to reinforce your stance.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
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