In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?
It is estimated that the
number
of people
travelling within their country is increasing in comparison with international travel. Although
a majority of people
are inclined to take domestic trips
, I believe this
is not the case. In this
essay, I will outline the reasons behind this
trend.
To begin
, technology has made travelling easier due to
the accessibility that it has made for people
. Advances in technology have brought us several benefits in the travelling sector and will be developed in the future
. Going on trips
will be much easier, faster and safer. For example
, the safety and security of transportation facilities and cars have improved, and in the blink of an eye, people
are enabled to take domestic journeys. Therefore
, they will be more inclined to take international trips
to get to know diverse cultures and meet new people
around the globe.
Moreover
, The number
of options for travelling has increased, and there will be more ones in the future
. One decade later, People
will have more options than now to choose and this
will encourage them as incentives to travel abroad. For instance
, If folks had the option to take a trip to London from India at the same pace as the light speed in 1 hour, it would be unlikely to go on holiday in their own country. In addition
, a vast number
of regulations have been imposed strictly to keep an eye on the safety of the
transportation facilities, Correct article usage
apply
such
as aeroplanes, trains ,and so on in order to minimize injuries on international journeys. As a result
, people
will be at no harm and a great number
of people
will be likely to spend their holiday in other countries.
To sum up
, more folks will be travelling to other countries during their holiday, as a result
of advances in technology and a great number
of options that there will be in the future
. Consequently
, In my opinion, crowds will potentially take more international trips
in the future
, and I hope steps should be taken to decrease the amount of pollution those advanced facilities will cause due to
this
rising trend.Submitted by bb_emperator on
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coherence cohesion
The essay well argues for the increasing trend of international travel against domestic travel, clearly presenting viewpoints and justifying them with examples. The logical flow is generally good, but further refinement in linking ideas and paragraphs together for smoother transitions could enhance the coherence of your essay. Consider using a wider variety of transitional phrases and ensure each paragraph flows naturally into the next.
task achievement
While you effectively address the prompt, there could be a more comprehensive exploration of both views before stating your own. Incorporating a balanced discussion of why some might choose domestic travel, followed by a rebuttal, would strengthen your overall argument. This increases task achievement by showing a full understanding of the topic. Additionally, try to be more explicit in summarizing your main points in the conclusion to reinforce your stance.