Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes air pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Air

travel

has become the predominant mode of transportation in the contemporary world, but there is a prevailing belief that its proliferation contributes significantly to environmental degradation, particularly

air

pollution

. I concur with

this

perspective

due to

the myriad of adverse repercussions it imposes on our society.

Firstly

, the widespread use of aircraft necessitates substantial quantities of fossil fuels to power their engines.

This

reliance on oil-based fuels results in escalated levels of

air

pollutants being emitted into the atmosphere, exacerbating the issue of

air

pollution

. As per a 2020 report published by the World Health Organization, the adverse environmental impact of

air

travel

was highlighted, underscoring the urgent need

for mitigating

Change preposition

to mitigate

show examples

its detrimental effects. Despite its environmental drawbacks, proponents of

air

travel

argue that it plays a pivotal role in facilitating global mobility. The rapid and efficient transport network provided by aircraft has revolutionized international

travel

, significantly reducing the time and effort required to reach distant destinations.

For instance

, in bygone eras, it would have taken approximately 45 to 50 days to traverse from the United Kingdom to the United States,

whereas

air

travel

has made

this

journey remarkably swift and accessible. In response to mounting concerns regarding environmental harm, a prominent aircraft manufacturer, namely AIRBUS, has

endeavored

Change the spelling

endeavoured

show examples

to address the issue by setting a target to develop electric-powered

airplanes

Change the spelling

aeroplanes

show examples

by 2040.

This

initiative underscores the industry's recognition of its role in contributing to

pollution

and its commitment to transitioning towards more sustainable alternatives. In conclusion, it is imperative for authorities and organizations to allocate resources and investments towards the research and development of eco-friendly innovations in the aviation sector. Despite the inherent risks associated with

air

travel

, the benefits derived from its expeditious and extensive connectivity cannot be overlooked.

Nevertheless

, proactive measures must be taken to curtail its adverse environmental impacts to safeguard our cities and ecosystems from the perils of

pollution

Submitted by ahshabasy on Sun Mar 10 2024

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Task Achievement

To further improve the task response, try integrating even more specific examples and statistics to support your arguments. This could involve citing recent studies or data that quantify the environmental impact of air travel, thereby strengthening your position.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout your essay. Although your essay currently demonstrates good coherence, further emphasizing transitions and connections between paragraphs can enhance readability and flow.

Language

Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. While your essay uses varied language, experimenting with less common words and phrases can add depth to your arguments and better capture the reader's interest.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

314 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

significant contributor
pollution
carbon emissions
restrict
alternative modes of transportation
environmentally friendly
technological advancements
economic benefits
environmental concerns

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Fully explain your ideas

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