Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet. They believe this is the best way of using public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. Do you agree or disagree?

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It has been noticeable that the use of technology has drastically increased worldwide.

Moreover

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, mobile phones have become a necessity for all of us, but in some developing countries, unemployed

people

Use synonyms

are unable to afford them.

Hence

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, I completely agree with the above statement as the government should provide phones and internet access to those

people

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. There are various factors which will benefit the government provide

people

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with smartphones.

Such

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as,

people

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will be able to create new profiles on job search sites ,

for instance

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, LinkedIn, Indeed or Glassdoor, through which they will be able to find great opportunities to grow their careers.

Furthermore

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, unemployed citizens will be aware of the recent news of the world, which will increase their general knowledge from which they can get a business idea out of it.

Therefore

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, resulting in boosting of economy of the nation.

Additionally

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, social media could play a huge role. As there are a lot of influencers who make millions

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apply

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and could inspire the unemployed crowd to make a career out of it.

For example

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, famous influencer Prajakta Kohli was a small-town girl and was jobless, but now she has become a sensational celebrity and aspiring influencer by uploading comedy content on YouTube.

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, certain job opportunities

such

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as Uber driver or trader, by studying the share market online,

also

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, starting an online food delivery business can be gain.

To conclude

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, providing smartphones to unemployed citizens is only a win-win situation for both the nation and the natives. As per the above-mentioned factors, it is obvious that having a smartphone with internet access could give society a lot of opportunities to make money and grow a future.

kshakshi16Sat Apr 05 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction presents a clear position, but it could be strengthened by directly addressing potential counterarguments to your stance.

coherence and cohesion

While the essay is generally well-structured, ensuring that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence would enhance logical flow.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples, but you could add more clarity on how these examples specifically relate to unemployment solutions.

task achievement

Excellent use of examples that engage the reader and illustrate your points well.

coherence and cohesion

You've shown strong potential in structuring your ideas and progressing them logically throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet. They believe this is the best way of using public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.