Task 2 Some countries invest in specialized sport facilities for top athletes but not for the average person. Is this a positive or a negative development ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Task 2 Some countries invest in specialized
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
for top
athletes
but not for the average person. Is
this
a positive or a negative development ? It is true that some countries support professional
athletes
by investing in dedicated
sports
facilities
such
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
gymnasiums, fitness diagnostics centres and training camps, though
this
privilege does not extend to everyday people. In my view,
this
development is generally desirable, though, everyone should receive equal attention on matters of fitness and
sports
. Admittedly, equal access to specialized
sports
venues can bring about benefits. The most immediate benefit is to
overall
public
health
. Once people
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
access to professional gymnasiums notwithstanding their training goals - whether it would be compete or for its own sake - they are more driven to do exercise.
This
is followed by gains in their personal
health
. Having cultivated a culture of fitness and
health
this
way, a country will see the
health
improvements of its citizens.
On the other hand
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should continue investing in specialized
sports
facilities
for competitive
athletes
.
This
is because
athletes
stand better a chance of winning when they can train at a dedicated training venue as their training is made efficient with the help of special equipment,
such
as treadmills and workout machines. Efficiency in training gives
athletes
an edge over their opponents, enabling them to win.
Besides
, spending
training
Change preposition
on training
show examples
facilities
might have limited uses for the common man. It might be a waste of resources to subsidize
sports
facilities
.
To conclude
, I think that the latest tendency among certain governments to invest in
sports
facilities
for superior sportspersons leaving average people behind is a negative trend
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because every citizen should have equal rights.
Moreover
, in terms of revenue from international events, funding these elite
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
objects is not profitable. 267 words
Submitted by g4832525 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure a clear thesis statement to present your viewpoint unequivocally in the introduction.
Task Response
Develop your points further by providing more specific examples. In paragraphs discussing benefits or drawbacks, include distinct and concrete examples to substantiate your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain clarity in arguments by using paragraphing effectively to delineate your ideas. Having a clear topic sentence for each paragraph helps.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to ensure the smooth flow of ideas and to establish clear relationships between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Response
Consider introducing a counter-argument or an alternative perspective in your body paragraphs to enrich the discussion and demonstrate analytical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: