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Band 7.5

In many countries, more and more women have full-time jobs as men. There is a logic that they should share the housework equally with men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #women #jobs #men #logic #housework
In
this
 contemporary world, the number of females who have full-time work has increased like males. It is argued that the former should distribute the household
chores
 equally. I completely agree with
this
 idea since women as men are tired at work,
thus
, they can not do all home tasks without any help and males can do these tasks and assist their wives. There are several reasons for
this
 statement. The first one is that the fact of tiredness. Women work
as well as
 men, they have full-time jobs and they are already overloaded with their business deals.
Moreover
, women do not have enough time to do all
chores
 and should not do
this
 without their spouses's assistance.
Consequently
, they should not be responsible for all household
chores
 they have. Another reason is simplicity. All men can do housework, like cleaning, washing and sweeping. All they need is help for the first time,
then
 they will learn to do it and all
chores
 will be done without difficulties. Take one spouse as an example. All of them have full-time jobs, and they decided to distribute their duties evenly.
Initially
, it was hard for a husband, but after several months, he is used to it. And, of course, there are some cases when husbands should help their wives. In terms of pregnancy, a wife can not lift heavy items, and males have to assist them. In conclusion, I completely agree with the statement that housework should be shared equally between spouses for the reasons I have mentioned above.
Submitted by halilova039 on

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logical structure
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introduction conclusion present
While there is an introduction and conclusion present, consider tying back the conclusion more explicitly to the arguments presented.
supported main points
Provide more varied examples to thoroughly support your argument.
complete response
The essay addresses the question and presents a clear opinion, maintaining this position throughout.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas are generally well-organized into paragraphs with a suitable introduction and conclusion.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay generally reads smoothly with suitable linking words, contributing to a clear flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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