Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

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There is a view that

money

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is one of the most important aspects of making one happy.

However

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, not all

people

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need to accumulate wealth to be happy because

happiness

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is an individual concept

that is

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understood differently.

Nevertheless

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money

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is significant for the majority,

along with

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health and relationships with

people

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. Being rich may be associated with

happiness

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, but it is not always a necessity.

In other words

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people

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can be happy without having millions in the bank, and

that is

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possible because

people

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have specific preferences and backgrounds.

For instance

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, an artist who grew up passionate about art can be happy thanks to having an opportunity to draw, even if their work is not sold.

Similarly

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, a person who is fond of football can be excited about a game in a local stadium

that is

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free to use. These examples suggest that

happiness

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depends more on what

people

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like rather than the amount of

money

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they have. Even though being wealthy is not as important as some

people

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think,

money

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is still an important component in the given conversation, as it helps

people

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maintain a certain lifestyle where they can satisfy their basic needs.

However

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, there are additional factors that may be even more important than

money

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, and those are health and personal relationships. Put simply,

people

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are happier when they are healthy, and one’s mental or physical condition does not fully depend on

money

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. With regard to personal relationships, it is obvious that humans are social creatures, and they need a certain amount of communication in their regular lives.

Thus

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, when they are surrounded by

people

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they love and get on well with, they are more likely to be happy. In conclusion,

happiness

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is a unique concept that cannot be achieved in the same way, yet there are certain elements,

such

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as the ones mentioned above, that can contribute to one’s well-being. 315 words.

g4832525Wed Mar 13 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance task achievement, ensure to directly address every aspect of the prompt more explicitly. Your essay could benefit from even more specific examples that closely relate to how individuals can achieve happiness without much money.

Coherence & Cohesion

While the essay demonstrates a clear logical structure, to improve coherence and cohesion, consider varying your use of cohesive devices. Introduce a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

317 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Promoting happiness
Essential factors
Financial stability
Material wealth
Personal fulfillment
Contentment
Basic needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Social connections
Pursuing passions
Well-being
Mental health
Spiritual practices
Personal growth
Community service
Societal contribution
Philanthropy
Joy
Satisfaction
Prosperity

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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that governments should make laws about people’s nutrition and food choice while others argue that it is their choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Some people think that big companies should provide sports and social facilities for the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that airports and bus terminals should be constructed outside the cities while others believe that these facilities should be built within the city centers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. To what extent do you agree?