TOPIC – Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what can be done to reduce it?
As commonly seen, a number of folks are moving to cities becoming overcrowded
instead
of living in the countryside. In my opinion, many reasons suddenly turn up, in parallel, the government is striving hard to solve the issue.
At first glance, a large percentage of individuals are induced by plenty of developments resulting in the abundance of ease, besides
that, many are able to earn more income in urban since most organizations' headquarters are settled in the city due to
the advantages such
as the easier access of users. Not forgetting to mention that, each progress is expanded from the urban to rural either industrial or technological. For instance
, in some countries, when it comes to transportation, the sky train which can be considered a high-quality technology owing to numerous merits both for citizens and tourists is solely launched in the city meanwhile folks are using personal cars to commute in the countryside causing costs.
For these reasons, most governments are trying to mitigate as soon as possible, many policies are offered in the council amongst ministers, and some reckon that advertising local brands can solve the troubles because the crowds can reap the income from the interaction, on top of that, some believe that technological developments should be operated not only in urban but also
in rural. For example
, firstly
, the signal can permit the local students to approach the better sources of data and those are able to apply their knowledge in order to make the greatest benefit for the state, undeniably, it is very slow when compared to other realms and ought to be improved concretely.
In conclusion, most folks want to live in the city as a result
of several pros which have not happened in the countryside yet, hence
, I opine that the distribution of progress seems to be very crucial to persuade individuals.Submitted by nutthan.aud on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Although your essay addresses the topic effectively, incorporating a variety of transitional phrases could enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider structuring your essay more traditionally with clear, separate paragraphs for the introduction, each main idea, and the conclusion. This will improve readability.
Task Achievement
To enrich your task response, explicitly state your thesis in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion. This reinforces your argument and adds clarity.
Task Achievement
Incorporating more concrete and varied examples would strengthen your arguments, making them more persuasive and relatable.
Task Achievement
You effectively address the topic, providing clear reasons for the movement to cities and suggesting plausible solutions.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good grasp of the subject, with relevant arguments and suggestions for reducing urban overcrowding.
Coherence and Cohesion
You show an ability to organize ideas logically, though further improvement in structure could enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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