Some people think that sport has significant impact on the society, others think that sport is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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People
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have opposing views about the role of
sport
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in
society
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, with some deeming it as no more than a pastime,
while
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others
considering
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consider
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it as an essential field bringing numerous benefits. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both perspectives and agree with the latter. On the one hand, those who argue that the role of
sport
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is limited to a leisure pursuit have a valid reason to support their claim. Supporters say that
people
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these days have very limited
time
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to devote to
sports
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,
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because they are preoccupied with other responsibilities,
such
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as work and studies.
This
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means that they can only go to the gym, do
sports
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, ranging from table tennis to football, and generally do exercises only when the
time
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allows, probably during the weekends.
Consequently
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, it would be wrong to assume that
sports
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have an important part to play in
society
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, as
people
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are spending negligible amounts of
time
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on
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staying active, which is
in contrast
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to professional training that requires dedication, effort and
time
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.
Nevertheless
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, I agree with those who believe that
sport
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is integral
for
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to
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society
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for various reasons. First of all, it is a means of motivating the younger generation to achieve their dreams. These days millions of youngsters look up to well-known athletes,
such
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as Khabib Nurmagomedov and Cristiano Ronaldo,
due to
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their admirable sporting feats and successful life paths. These sportspeople serve as role models for the youth who can be lost in life and don't know who they want to be. The
second,
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albeit equally significant, benefit of
sport
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is that it is a way of maintaining public health. Even if
people
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are spending too little
time
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on
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doing
sports
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, as long as they keep doing so consistently, they reduce the risk of serious health problems like
hearth
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heart
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attacks.
While
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these
sport
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amateurs regard their activity as a pastime, the benefits extend well beyond
into
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apply
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nurturing a healthy
society
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. In conclusion,
although
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some individuals consider
sport
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to be an unimportant field in
society
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, reducing its importance to a mere leisure activity, others, including me, take issue with these
people
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, as
sport
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can be a means of motivating the youth and enhancing public well-being.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance Task Achievement, ensure that you specifically address the prompt by discussing both views in detail and giving a clear, well-developed opinion. Incorporate a wider range of examples and details to support your ideas more extensively.
Coherence
Improve coherence by making smoother transitions between paragraphs. While your essay has a good structure, using more varied transitional phrases can ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
Cohesion
To boost cohesion, work on linking sentences more effectively within paragraphs. This can be done by using cohesive devices like pronouns and conjunctions to make your argument more interconnected.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fosters
  • national pride
  • integration
  • mutual respect
  • advocate for equality
  • influencing societal attitudes
  • leisure activity
  • physical and mental health benefits
  • commercialization
  • catalyst for unity
  • societal impact
  • multifaceted role
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