The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, it has been discussed whether the effects of social media play a crucial role in people's lives. One of the main uses of social platforms is interaction with other individuals. Even though
this
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change is often criticised, I firmly believe that
this
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kind of communication would be beneficial to everyone. The principal reason why it could be beneficial to interact online refers to the possibility to reach everyone from everywhere.
This
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is mainly
due to
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the fact that the internet is able to connect people from all over the world.
As a result
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, if someone is not able to move to another city or to another country, the internet gives him/her the chance to meet on online platforms.
For example
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, nowadays there are several cases of individuals who live abroad. Socials allow them to keep in touch with their families.
On the other hand
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, some people argue that
this
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type of communication can bring various consequences,
such
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as the inability to interact with each other face-to-face. Despite it being a challenge for someone, it is widely known that if we are aware of what we are facing, it will be easier to keep the ordinary relationships.
For instance
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, there are numerous couples who have met on online networks, and sometimes they create a bond.
Nevertheless
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, in these cases, it is always recommended to pay attention.
To conclude
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, it is undeniable that social platform interaction could bring some issues. Nonethless it is
also
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true that during the internet era we have various methods to mitigate the consequences. The essential part is to know what we are going to face.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear in the first part. Say very clearly that the good points are more than the bad points.
task response
Add one more clear bad point of social media, then explain why it is still less important than the good points.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and more specific. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas more smoothly. Some parts jump too fast from one idea to another.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word choice problems like 'socials' and 'meet on online platforms' because they can make meaning less clear.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Your opinion is present and stays mostly the same through the essay.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas, such as people living abroad and couples meeting online.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interaction
  • geographical barriers
  • global community
  • cultural diversity
  • economic opportunities
  • superficial interactions
  • mental health impact
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • interpersonal relationships
  • real world
  • spread of misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • societal polarization
  • informed citizenship
  • constant connectivity
  • maintain relationships
  • fast and efficient
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