Many people, especially young children, watch too much television. Some experts think that this can be dangerous, and that the time would be better spent doing other thing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of watching television?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Television
brings relaxation and enjoyment but if
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
show examples
excessive it can be harmful to people in the long run.
This
essay will discuss both
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
and disadvantages of watching
television
. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
benefits of
television
. It offers
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
range of information like
news
, educational programs and documentaries in a cheaper way.
For example
, people who watch daily
news
help them stay informed about current events and
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
. Acquiring learnings from
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of educational
program
Change the noun form
programs
show examples
such
as
Correct article usage
the discovery
show examples
discovery channel
Correct your spelling
Discovery Channel
show examples
,
national geographic channel
Correct your spelling
National Geographic Channel
show examples
,
history channel
Correct your spelling
History Channel
show examples
and the like will create awareness of the environment and appreciate different cultures and past events.
Television
is
much
Correct article usage
a much
show examples
affordable
Correct quantifier usage
more affordable
show examples
form of entertainment than going to
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
or amusement
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
. Various programs of sports, music, movies,
reality
Correct word choice
and reality
show examples
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows bring happiness and joy to the viewer. There is no need to be expensive to find pleasure.
On the other hand
, there are
also
drawbacks of too much
television
viewing. These common health issues arise from constant watching of
television
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
vision
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
, irregular sleeping
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
and obesity.
For instance
, too much staring
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
the screen or sitting near to
television
can cause eyestrain. Children who watch
television
past bedtime can develop irregular sleeping
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
even
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adults who
are so focus
Change the verb form
are so focused
are so focusing
show examples
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows, dramas, or
news
tend to become unaware of time passing.
Besides
,
this
can
also
lead to
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle. Spending more on watching
television
would create less time for physical activity
such
as running, playing basketball, or biking
thus
result
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
obesity .
Inactive
Correct article usage
An inactive
show examples
social life is
also
the outcome of watching too much
television
although
they can watch with others
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it is limited to family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
or relatives.
In addition
,
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
influence
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
commercial
Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
show examples
will affect the
viewers
Change to a genitive case
viewer's
viewers'
show examples
decision
of choosing
Change preposition
to choose
show examples
products. Sometimes, people
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
even notice they are slowly being corrupted
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
they see because of wrong information.
Also
, violence and foul language can be seen and heard on
television
shows which would have
Correct article usage
a
show examples
bad impact on
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
. In summary,
television
is actually
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
source of information and entertainment. It has either
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
or bad impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
everyones
Correct your spelling
everyone
day to day life from daily
news
, commercials, and
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows.
Submitted by jevilla1188 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your essay begins with a clear introduction that outlines your position on the topic and ends with a concise conclusion that summarizes your main points. Your introduction successfully sets the stage, but your conclusion could more explicitly restate your stance and the key advantages and disadvantages discussed.
Paragraph Structure
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focused on a particular idea or argument. You have successfully divided your essay into sections discussing the advantages and disadvantages of television watching, but make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical progression of ideas.
Supporting Examples
Provide specific, relevant examples to support your arguments. You have included some examples to illustrate the benefits and drawbacks of television watching, but adding more detailed examples or personal anecdotes can make your arguments more compelling and concrete.
Task Response
Aim for a balanced treatment of the topic by thoroughly exploring both sides of the issue. You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of television watching, but ensure that your exploration of each side is equally detailed and convincing.
Cohesive Devices
Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link your ideas and paragraphs together more smoothly. While you have made some effort to ensure coherence and cohesion, more varied and sophisticated use of linking words could enhance the readability of your essay and the flow of your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: