IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people say that Government should break down all the historic building and replace them with modern buildings. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
City construction consists of modern and historic
buildings
Use synonyms
. In fact, I strongly disagree with those who argue that the
Government
Use synonyms
 should destroy all the
buildings
Use synonyms
 that have historical value and replace them with modern ones for two reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, breaking down the historic building has no urgency at all.
For example
Linking Words
, why does the UK
government
Use synonyms
 have to demolish The Old College belonging to The University of Edinburgh if they are still well constructed
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Although
Linking Words
 it seems old, the building has been used for many academic activities which means if the
government
Use synonyms
 choose to replace it with modern construction, it will disturb students' learning processes. Rather than destroy, I think it is better for the
government
Use synonyms
 to do regular maintenance to all the historic
buildings
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, historic
buildings
Use synonyms
 are invaluable assets for a country. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, let us talk about Buckingham Palace which has been one of the icons of The UK. Not only embody a nation's history, culture, and society, but the building
also
Linking Words
 provides a tangible connection to the past so that we can learn about how people lived back
then
Linking Words
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 can maximize the utility of the historic
buildings
Use synonyms
 to become a tourist spot. In a small city in Indonesia, Solo, there is a palace named Mangkunegaran which already stood for a long time period. Even though today the
government
Use synonyms
 system has been changed, the
government
Use synonyms
 of Solo see
this
Linking Words
 as an opportunity to attract both local and foreign tourists to learn about the history of Mangkunegaran. In fact, all the
buildings
Use synonyms
 have their own character which can attract overseas visitors since nowadays photography in aesthetical places has become an increasing trend. In conclusion, it is not an urgent thing to transform historic into modern
buildings
Use synonyms
, and keeping all of it actually brings benefits for a country which is a rising nation's revenue
due to
Linking Words
 tourism activity. I,
therefore
Linking Words
, remain firmly convinced that destroying all the historic
buildings
Use synonyms
 is really a bad decision.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction that directly addresses the prompt. This will ensure the examiner immediately understands your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay and better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Examples include 'Moreover,' 'Consequently,' and 'In addition to'.
Task Achievement
Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your argument. This can showcase a broader understanding of the topic and further improve Task Achievement.
General Advice
Double-check for minor grammatical errors and ensure consistent use of tenses throughout your essay to enhance readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • invaluable assets
  • tangible connection
  • architectural heritage
  • modernization
  • energy efficiency
  • adaptive reuse
  • historical significance
  • economic implications
  • sustainable
  • green technologies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: