Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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University
education
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is one of the crucial factors to improve the development of a country,
thus
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some people think that the
government
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has to set it free for all
students
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from all backgrounds. In my opinion, I partly agree with the ideas that
education
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have to be accessible for all, but the
government
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should consider the financial background that
students
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have. On the one hand, free
education
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without seeing
students
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' financial ability is an unfair treatment.
This
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is because the rich and the poor have to compete in the same selection process to get free access to university
while
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they have not in the same level since the beginning. The rich can have a bigger chance to pass the
system
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since they can access all portals to maximize their ability. I mean by
this
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,
for instance
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, if the
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government-run
Correct your spelling
government
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this
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system
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, those who are rich can join a course that teaches them how to pass the selection
system
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. Not only that, but they
also
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have more ability to complete administration documents
such
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as English proficiency
whereas
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the poor can not afford it.
On the other hand
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, the
government
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should really think about regulating
education
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that is
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free for
students
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having low economic status.
Firstly
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, the free
education
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system
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will really help the poor to access the same
education
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as the rich so there will be no gap in mindset and knowledge. In fact,
due to
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lack of money, parents possibly send their children to study in a low-quality school or even do not obligate their kids to go to school and encourage them to work as soon as possible.
Furthermore
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, with the
system
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that makes it possible for a student to pursue their undergraduate program, the
government
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can earn benefits from it. In society, we often see that there are numerous smart people who can not afford their
education
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but they have a big potential to grow. If the
government
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can take
this
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as an opportunity, later on, they can use
students
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' skills and abilities to accelerate the nation's development. In conclusion, the rich who are actually capable of paying university tuition fees have to be excluded from the free
education
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system
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. I,
therefore
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, really support
this
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idea in order to create an equal
education
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quality for all
students
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.
Submitted by mmmuuu on

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Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, focus on deeply analysing the prompt by offering a more nuanced perspective on why free education for all can be both beneficial and problematic, essentially strengthening your argument with denser evidence or a wider range of examples.
Coherence
Improve your coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs. Using phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' 'On the other hand,' can create a more fluid reading experience. This also helps signal to the reader that a new point is about to be introduced or an existing point is about to be expanded upon.
Cohesion
In terms of cohesion, make sure your essay maintains a consistent focus on the essay question throughout. Introduction and conclusion should clearly state your overall position, and each paragraph should relate directly back to the topic. Incorporate varied but accurate linking words and aim for each paragraph to logically follow from the one before it.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • Accessibility
  • Social mobility
  • Meritocracy
  • Economic growth
  • Equality
  • Subsidize
  • Fiscal sustainability
  • Human capital
  • Incentivize
  • Underfunded
  • Tuition fees
  • Academic achievement
  • Workforce
  • Tax burden
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